


The Redemption

by Mentasavi



Category: The Man in the High Castle (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fight for Freedom, Friendship, Juliana you don't have to face anything alone, War, circumstances can change people, don't lose hope, jumping through worlds, love for your family, me against you becomes we against all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-12-25 22:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18270830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mentasavi/pseuds/Mentasavi
Summary: This story is based on the trailer for season 4 .. and what an amazing trailer it was! So I got inspired to write and here it comes: my first fanfiction :)I thought about what could happen in season 4 and I really tried to find possible explanations for what we are seeing in the trailer. I try to capture all frames, all people that could matter in this restless times and the chapters will probably remind you a bit of the show itself. Jumping to different people, different experiences and in the end it will come together ;) Hope you enjoy!Juliana Crain travels into another world and finds herself in an unexpected position right from the beginning. She desperately tries to find a way back into her own world to helpthe resistence but soon realises, that this new world could help her find a way to save her own world from falling apart. Meanwhile John Smith needs to fight down the resistence, which gains more and more power under their new and resolute leader Wyatt Price. Also Takeshi Kido fights for control in San Francisco and soon realises that a possible war is nearer than expected. What would you do to save the ones you love, but at the same time be the one to make the difference and risk everything?





	1. A whole new world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nebenwelt -> the other world (I'm not sure if it is called in English the same as in German) :D Sorry for that ... lol

So this is my very first fanfiction for this fandom and my first english one as well. I hope it won't be a problem that English is not my native language and it's still okay to read :P

Enjoy! 

Nebenwelt

Gasping Juliana opened her eyes and threw herself forward, her breathing staggered and her head pound-ing. Did she do it? Did she really travel into another world? She tried to look around, but her sight was blurred. The noises muffled. It was like seeing through the thickest fog but eventually it turned into colourful specks and a smile spread over her face. She did it! She was no longer in the cold grey cell, captured by the Nazis, but out in the open. Free. In another world she didn’t know. 

Desperately she tried to focus. She needed to know where she was, but it took a few minutes until her vision slowly returned and with that a sudden powerful pain emerged as well. The adrenaline of the jump had van-ished at last and left her in a painful state. Her hand flew to her shoulder and touched the bloodsoaked clothes. A hiss escaped her mouth. What the hell? Was this …? 

“Miss?” A voice called and Juliana threw her head around to see the outline of a man. “Are you alright?”, asked the same voice, “Hey?” His voice sounded fearful. Alarmed. But Juliana could not answer. The pounding in her head, the unbearable pain in her shoulder, it overwhelmed her and slowly her eyes flut-tered shut. “No, hey, you need to stay awake. Please.” The man shouted and distantly Juliana thought to know this voice. This rough and deep sound. But she couldn’t remember. It was too arduous. 

But as she felt his hand on her, she tried to open her eyes again and she saw the man’s face. The dark hair. The green eyes. Paralyzed Juliana stared, as she desperately tried to understand what was going on. This could not be. This was impossible. How could he …? How was he …? 

“You need to stay calm.”, he said as he noticed her strain and locked eyes with her. The softest green and not the hard pointing stare she was used to. Could this be?

“I know it hurts, but we need to get you out of the car.” As she registered his words, she looked around and realized that she was in a car accident somehow. Smoke was soaring from the car in front of her. People were calling for help, as they tried to pull the other person out of the vehicle. And in the distance, she could hear the sirens.

“Miss?” Juliana concentrated on him again and swallowed hard. How could this be? In her world she tried to escape this man. This dangerous and evil man, who would have let her die in every possible scenario but here in this world, John Smith was her savour?

Numb with feeling Juliana stared at him, as he moved into the vehicle and took hold of her. Something in-side her screamed that she should not trust him and get away from him, but she was still too perplexed to act accordingly. Instead she just stared and tried to understand, how a man can be so different. But the question was: Was he really a better man in this world or was he just the same but did not show it yet. 

Suddenly she was pulled out of her thoughts as somebody was screaming outside, but she didn’t quite understand what they were saying.  
“The car caught fire.”, John mumbled next to her and tugged her over the seat, “We need to hurry.”  
“Aaah.”, Juliana winced visibly and pressed her hand against the wound in her left shoulder, but John didn’t stop. He couldn’t. It was too dangerous to linger. 

“Father!”  
“Wait with the car!”, John shouted back to whomever was calling for him, while he dragged Juliana all the way out of the flaming vehicle onto the sidewalk and out of danger. “Everything will be alright. The ambu-lance is on its way.”  
“No.”, Juliana finally whispered and clamped on his arm as the pain in her shoulder got stronger, “No. No hospitals. No police.” Bewildered he looked down at her.  
“You are bleeding.”  
“No police! No hospitals.”, she repeated and tried to get out of his grip, but he didn’t let her. He nodded instead and tried to calm her again: “Okay, okay.” Then he looked over his shoulder and shouted: “Thom-as! Open the door for me.” Thomas? Julianas eyes widened. Thomas was alive? 

“Help me lift her onto the backseat, will you?” Thomas nodded and walked around the pair to help his fa-ther. Stunned Juliana stared into Thomas Smith face as he went into her sight. He looked just the same. The same haircut. The same clothes. The same nervous glint in his eyes. It was the same boy and Juliana couldn’t help but smile. He was alive in this world and no one had hurt him. 

“She needs to see a doctor, dad.” She heard Thomas say next as John laid her down onto the seat and looked at her. Panic in his eyes. He acted so human, that Juliana couldn’t believe this was quite real.  
“I know.”, John replied tersely.  
“But the ambulance is on its way, why are we …?”  
“Thomas, please.”, he interrupted his son and opened the door for him, “We will help her, okay? She will be fine. I promise you that.”  
“But.”  
“Get in the car.” And with this Thomas obeyed and hopped onto the seat while John ran around the car to get inside. He didn’t know what was going on with the lady in the back, but he was sure that they didn’t have much time left before the wound in her shoulder would kill her. And so, he needed to hurry and pressed down on the gas pedal. 

xHCx

Disbelieving John Smith stared at the spot where Juliana Crain just disappeared. Her blood still on the wall behind the bed, but the bed itself was empty. Just like this woman in the laboratory, Juliana had disap-peared into thin air. Into … another world. “This cannot be.”, Smith breathed and swallowed. Hard. Could it really be true? Was there another world in reach? Could people just travel into another dimension without a machine, without any help at all? It was unbelievable but it was true. He witnessed it for the second time now and it scared him as much as the first time. 

With a head full of questions Smith turned around and left Julianas cell. She wouldn’t return, of that he was certain. He needed answers, nevertheless.

“She did it, didn’t she?” Abendsen asked as Smith opened the door and stepped into the little cell. A smirk on his lips. “I knew she would achieve it.”  
“How did she do it?”  
“I don’t know.” His amused laugh loud in the room. “I told you, I’m not a traveller. I never experienced it myself, John, so I can’t tell you anything.”  
“How can I reach her?” Relentless Smith took a step towards him and fixed Abendsen with a cold stare. He needed answers and he was his only hope to achieve them.  
“Reach her?”, Abendsen repeated and smirked again at his enemy who obviously didn’t know anything about travelling at all. “You cannot do anything, my friend. She is gone.”  
“But she can come back, can’t she?” Abendsen shrugged with his shoulders and Smiths patience ran thin. “I will find her, Hawthorne.” He threatened the older man. “And when I do, I can promise you, that I won’t be as friendly as I was until now.” 

Abendsen laughed again and shook his head at Smith.  
“You won’t do that.”, he told him and looked up, “Because you will need her as much as she will need you.” Bewildered Smith looked at him. What was he talking about? What did he know that he wouldn’t tell him?

“What do you mean?”  
“You are a smart man, John. You’ll figure it out.” Angry Smith took another step forward and wanted to reach for Abendsen as the door swung open.

“Excuse me for interrupting, sir, but there is an important message for you.”  
“Yes, thank you.”, said Smith and waited until the door was locked again before his eyes returned to Abendsen who looked calmly up at him.  
“You saw me in the films, didn’t you?” Abendsen’s grin widened. He was indeed a smart man. “I watched a lot of them, too.” Smith’s face grim.  
“And what did you see?”  
“Nothing important.” Smith replied curtly.  
“Oh really? I find that hard to believe.” Abendsen shot him a meaningful glance. “Maybe you should watch them again and this time your focus should not only be on your son, John.” Smiths eyes widened. “For however beautiful the look might be, you will need another human being to stop this madness.”  
“This madness?” He raised his eyebrow.  
“It only has just begun.” The threat was evidently but not clear. What was Abendsen talking about?

“What …?” The door opened a second time and the same soldier stepped inside.  
“Excuse me, sir, but the message is very urgent.” Smith rolled with his eyes. Every message was im-portant. Every fucking information they got was important. But this right here was more important than any-thing. Abendsen knew about something big and Smith guessed it wouldn’t take long before it hit home. 

“I’m coming.”, he answered though and followed the soldier, but glanced back over his shoulder to Abendsen who stared intensely at him. What did this man see in these films? And why did he tell him this information as voluntary as he did. Juliana Crain, Smith thought, she was always in the picture. Whenever there was a big call with the resistance, she was present. He knew she was the key, but for which lock Smith had no idea.

xHCx

Nebenwelt

Slowly Juliana blinked her eyes open and realised she was in someone’s bed. Surprised she sat up and looked around her. She didn’t recognize anything but abruptly remembered what had happened. Smith. She had seen him. Right? He was here. In this world and … and Thomas, too. They had been here, and they had helped her. Curiously she touched her left shoulder and found a bandage secured around it. The horrible pain was gone, taken by a constantly throb she could handle. She sighed. Did he bandage her? The new Smith that is. The … kind one. 

Juliana frowned. It was still all too surreal. To see John Smith in this world. To see him acting like he was the friendliest and nicest guy on earth. She didn’t understand anything of it, still expecting that he turned out to be the same calculatingly man who only acted for his own benefit. For she couldn’t imagine a different John Smith, except … She frowned anew as she remembered something Abendsen told her a long time ago.

“Some of the people you knew, I started seeing them too, revolving around you. Like an atom. But they would change, different behaviour, different relationships, different points of view, shaped by their lives. But you were always you […]” 

Could that be true? If the Nazis had not won the war, if he had been free from their ideology, would John Smith really have turned out to be a nice guy? According to Abendsen and the films it was possible, alt-hough it was hard to believe. 

“Ah, you are up.” Juliana jumped at his voice. “We thought, you might be hungry … so Helen made you something.” He grinned with half his mouth up and carried a tray full of food to the bedside table. She gaped at him. A nice guy indeed. Maybe too nice.

“How are you feeling?” John asked next and sat beside her. Surprised about his familiar action Juliana frowned again. “I hope you feel better with the painkillers. You scared me there a little, you know.” He let out a low chuckle and grasped her hand. Dumbstruck Juliana raised her eyebrows. He knew her? “As I saw you in the car, I panicked. You could have been killed in this accident.” He looked up and she saw tears forming in his eyes, while he kept stroking her hand. “I couldn’t lose you a second time.” 

Juliana was speechless. This Smith knew her. And not only that, he seemed to be very close to her.  
“I …” She stuttered helpless, “I … thank you for rescuing me.”  
“I would do anything to protect you, you know that.” John promised and Juliana nearly chuckled. This was very different to his usual behaviour towards her. “Jules, I … I need to ask you something.”  
“Yes?” He swallowed and pressed her hand between his bigger ones. A sad expression on his face.  
“Why did you leave? Did I do anything wrong or say something that hurt you … I …” He sighed. “I was scared for you, Jules, nobody knew where you were. I thought something had happened to you. I thought ... I thought you were dead.” And she was. At least the one Juliana he seemed to know, but she couldn’t give him this answer, could she? He believed that she was his Juliana and it was better to act accordingly.

“I needed time.” She answered quietly then and tried to imagine a good story to tell him. “Time to think about some things.” John nodded slowly and smiled sadly at her.  
“Okay. I understand. I do. I just … never mind. I’m just happy that you are back.” And with that he brought her hand to his lips and pressed a long kiss on its back. Surprised Juliana jerked her hand back. She could handle the touching but the kissing? What was she to him? She thought Helen was here as well. 

“What is it?” A concerned look in his eyes. “Are you afraid of Helen? She won’t catch is, she is out with the kids.” Oh my god, Juliana thought and closed her eyes. They really had an affair. She had an affair with fucking John Smith. She couldn’t believe it. This wasn’t possible. She would never fall for that man. Never. But obviously her other self had no problem with this idea at all. 

“Jules, what is the matter?” John tried to take her hand again, but she didn’t let her.  
“Leave. Please.” He was confused, she could tell.  
“Tell me what’s wrong. Please.” He pleaded instead. “What happened to you?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Oh, so now a gunshot is nothing.” He snapped whereupon Juliana visibly cringed. Immediately Johns voice softened. “I’m sorry. I’m just … so confused, okay? I didn’t think I would see you ever again and now you are here, and you are injured. And then you tell me, to not call the police although you’ve been clearly shot. I …” He sighed and put his hands over his face. “Please tell me what happened to you, so I can help you.” 

Juliana laughed inwardly. He was confused? He of all people. She just travelled into another world, in which she was in a relationship with a man, who tried to kill her in her own world. She was shot. By him! And now he was this kind and caring man who obviously cared for her deeply. It was too much. Too much to think about and Juliana mustn’t allow to be distracted. She needed to concentrate, to find a way back into her own world and to safe this world from the Nazis and their dangerous plans.

“You can’t.” Juliana finally said and moved out of bed, relieved that she was clothed.  
“Juliana.” John pleaded again und stepped into her, his hands on her arms. She shivered from the unex-pected touch and looked up. “You don’t have to face anything alone. I’m here. I can help you.” She shook her head. No, he couldn’t. He was the bad man. And she was the one who had to stop him. And for that, she needed to find Trudy. Someone who knew what was happening in her own world. She needed to go.

“I need to leave.” She informed John and ducked out of his grip to put on her shoes while he watched her helplessly.  
“You are still injured.”  
“I’m fine.” Juliana answered quickly and opened the door. John on her heels.  
“I beg of you, don’t go. Let us talk about it. We will find a solution.” His words met deaf ears while they were running down the steps. Finally at the door John turned her around once more to look her in the eyes. “Juliana, I love you. That never changed. So please don’t go. Stay and let me help you to get better.” For a long moment Juliana watched the emotions in his green eyes. It was so different to the cold gaze she was used to. So warm and inviting. And she was happy to see this side in him. To know that a different outcome had turned him into a good man. But at the same time, it reminded her that in her own world this man was not able to be this way. Because of the world around him. And it was her duty to change that. To free the people of the Nazi ideology. Even him. 

So she shook her head and gave him one last sad smile: “Goodbye, John.”


	2. The ambush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here goes the next one ... Hopefully you enjoy it :)
> 
> Thank you for all your comments. I was very happy about your feedback !!!

“Do you know what trouble I could get into for showing this?”, whispered the young man as Wyatt put a film into his hand and shoved him into the screening room of a small cinema in the middle of nowhere in the neutral zone. “I could get killed.”  
“This is more important than your life or even mine.”, Wyatt answered with determination and looked into his eyes. “This film will change the world as you know it, boy. But for that we need people to see it. Everyone needs to watch this film. Do you understand?”  
“What are you talking about, man? How could a film possibly change the world?” Frowning the young man shook his head. “I don’t want to have anything to do with this propaganda bullshit.”

Wyatt had been working the young cinema owner for hours since getting into there in the afternoon. After not finding success in the morning with a bigger and more promising cinema in town where they had been threatened by the owner to leave - he appeared to be a man of his words, when he told Wyatt and his fellow Lem that he would shoot them or get the pons to do it, if they decided to come back – so the two resistance fighters left and ended up here, in a small building called “Movie Room”. 

It was better than nothing, Wyatt decided, and at first, the young owner seemed to be interested in the opportunity of showing a free movie, which came to no surprise. This cinema was in a poor state, run down and urgently needed cash to survive. The flimsy curtains were only a bilged shadow of their former self after what seemed decades of hanging in this dark and unwelcoming space.

Nevertheless, after revealing the contents of the videos he immediately showed signs of doubt and had changed his mind, but Wyatt was hellbent on making it work. He had to.

“But you have no choice, you see.”, Wyatt said, and the young man scoffed. Threats were nothing new out here, therefore Wyatt’s behaviour was nothing but ridiculous and not a bit intimidating.  
“You have to find another theatre, my friend. I shall not show it.”

“You sure about that, kid?” Another voice asked in a dangerous low voice and the sound of a shotgun loading was heard.  
“Lem.” Wyatt scolded him and hold a hand out to stop his fellow. “Let the boy think, he will know what’s best.” The young man looked between Wyatt and the new guy who didn’t put the gun down but raised his eyebrows in a challenging way at him. He swallowed. This threat however was intimidating. 

“Okay, okay.” He raised his arms hastily. “I will show it. Your fucking film that is.”  
“Then show it often, you understand?” Wyatt said pleased. “Everyone in this town needs to see it.”  
“But why?”  
“Because they need a reason to believe and this film delivers it.”  
“To believe in what.”  
“That there could be a free nation. Free from the fucking Nazis. Free from the pons.” A smile took over Wyatts face. “Just imagine it.”  
“Man, everyone dreams about that.” The boy scoffed. “They killed my dad, these assholes. It’s a dream, nevertheless. No one can stop them.”  
“We will, but we need more fighters, you understand. We need more people we can trust and rely on.”  
“And you believe a film can do that?” Wyatt nodded with a confident smile. “So, you will show it and watch it yourself?” Broodingly the boy thought about his question and finally nodded. He wanted to know what the fuss was about and maybe, just maybe the man was right, that there was still hope to fight those monsters who suppressed everyone in his life.

xHCx

As Wyatt and Lem went outside it was already getting dark. This kid had cost them a lot of time, they could have used better. Nonetheless it was a good thing that another cinema would show the films, even if it was as small as this one. It had already paid off in other cities, like Nashville and Denver or even San Francisco. The resistance was spreading wide and grew each day. In the Neutral Zone, in the Pacific States and even in the Great Nazi Reich, they were everywhere; and they got stronger and stronger each day. Wyatt could feel in it in his veins, the day of reckoning was no longer a dream but destiny.

“What do you think, how much more time Martin will need to pull this thing off?”, Lem asked as they went to their car and got in. Wyatt sighed audibly.  
“I don’t know, man. He promised it would take place this week.”  
“We should be ready by then.”  
“We are ready.” Wyatt replied and started the car. “As soon as Martin attacks the inner circle of the pons, we’ll take our chance and bring them to the ground.” They shared a smile. It was no longer a dream indeed but fate. War was coming!

xHCx

Smith sat tensely in the car as they drove in the direction of the Volkshalle. He had been called to Berlin first thing in the morning to discuss Himmler’s condition and everything surrounding the tragic event. Smith knew that Berlin was nervous about the development in the Reich, especially now with no functioning Führer at the top who could guide them and feared that he had to take all the blame. 

Smith sighed. He knew he needed to be alert for this discussion. He needed to be on top of his game to prevent any danger towards him or his family, but especially they made it impossible for him to think clearly. 

He missed Helen and the girls. He missed the distraction with their stories from school and everything in between. He missed the innocence of it. He missed the strength of his wife, the way she could calm him while everything seemed to fall apart around him. He missed it all and his head was full of questions and concern for them. Where were they? Was it safe? Did they miss him? Would they ever come back?

He wished for answers. To hear from them and be assured of their wellbeing, but there was never time for him to look for them. Work was always present and although he wanted to throw it all away to get his family back, he knew it would end in chaos. And he couldn’t risk that.

“We are here, Reichsmarschall.” Smith closed his eyes. He couldn’t think of this now. It was too distracting, and he needed to focus. Then he opened his eyes again nodded with a stoic expression, before he stepped out and walked into the large building. 

xHCx

Nebenwelt

After Juliana had left John in a very hasty manner and fought down the nagging feeling that she should have handled the situation better, she walked down the road of a very different New York. Although it was the same suburb as in her own world, where John Smith had resided, it had a distinct feeling to it.

The streets were less strict, wild flowers were growing alongside the road and she didn’t see one flag with the Swastika symbol on it once. It brought a smile to her face for she felt a comforting feeling of freedom while watching the differing front yards, the individually designed homes. It was like taking a breath of fresh air and filled her with hope that this could be reality in her own world.

Although Juliana didn’t exactly know where to look for Trudy, she took the bus to central station. It was a starting point at any rate. But when she arrived at Grand Central Station, she was absolutely overwhelmed by the impressions of the place. Not only was this magnificent building gigantic from the inside, filled with hundreds if not thousands of busy people walking crisscross, creating a picture of ordered chaos, bus also she had not idea where to go, as she stood in front of the largest timetable and connection map she had ever seen.

It was like finding a needle in the haystack, but she had to try all the same. She thought about Canon City, a place they both visited but never quite liked. Then she thought about the old farm house that belonged to Abendsen but asked herself if it was still his in this world. She couldn’t be sure, therefore she decided to take a bus to San Francisco. Maybe she would be lucky and find her sister there. They grew up there after all.

xHCx

“Reichsmarschall.” Smith was greeted by Reichsminister Goebbels and shook his hand with a tense smile. “Es ist schön Sie wiederzusehen. Ich wünschte nur, es wäre unter besseren Umständen.” (“It’s nice to see you again. I only wished for better circumstances.”) Smith could only nod. He would have preferred a different situation as well. „Come on now, the others are already waiting for us.” Again, Smith nodded and followed Goebbels into the next room.

As expected, Smith was greeted by a typical Nazi operation room, which featured an excessive number of flags which hung from the ceiling across the whole room, with only a couple of dimly light lightbulbs ordered in a swastika formation illuminating the room. Instead of windows to look out Smith looked at images of the current Führer and the deceased one as oversized as the flags. It didn’t surprise him to think he had been here before for they all looked the same. Dark and intimidating. 

“Please take a seat, John.”  
“Thank you, sir.” Smith said as he followed the invitation and looked around the table. He only knew a few names of the men sitting quite tersely at the table and wondered why they were here. Their position was not nearly ranked high enough to be present at such an important discussion. Only Goebbels himself was. Surprised Smith looked at Goebbels who was sitting at the top and seemed quite pleased with himself. He would do it, Smith concluded. He would take over if Himmler died. He was already sitting in his position after all and it said a lot that no one was arguing about it. Would they even dare?

After the disclosure of Heusmann’s plans to get to the very top, the Reich had worked hard to find every involved member of this conspiracy and as it turned out, there were a lot of high ranked people involved. This explained why only unknown faces sat at the table, everyone else who mattered had been removed, and the rest was happy to have survived.

“Wir sind froh, Sie bei uns zu haben, John. Wie Sie sicherlich wissen, sind wir alle sehr angespannt, seitdem der Führer angeschossen worden ist.“ („We are happy to have you with us, John. You certainly know that the situation is quite tense after the Führer had been shot.”), Goebbels began and looked directly at Smith who had trouble to understand everything he said. He had never been good in German and should have refreshed his vocabulary before coming here for he should have known that this conversation would be in German. “Wissen Sie bereits, wer hinter dem Attentat steckt?” (“Do you already know, who attacked him?”)  
“Wir haben unsere Vermutungen, Sir.“(“We have our suspicions, sir.”), stuttered Smith with a heavy accent. He didn’t want to mark anyone for they didn’t have a clue who was the marksman. It would only trigger the Reich to point at the wrong ones, probably Japan, and they would risk a war, no one needed. 

“Aber wir ermitteln noch.” (“But we are still investigating.”) Smith added with reassurance then. Goebbels nodded.  
“Ich bin sicher, es waren die Japaner.” („I’m convinced, the Japanese did it.”) Jep, that’s exactly what Smith feared. There was no evidence the pons had attacked but the assumptions were strong and as always, the leading men would jump at it. Especially in situations like this. They needed to find a guilty one, to satisfy the people after all.

Tense Smith sat forward while scratching at his eyebrow. He knew he should not answer back out of respect, but he couldn’t let it stand as this neither. Too much was at risk. “Ich kann Ihren Verdacht verstehen, Sir, aber bisher haben wir keine Beweise für diese Anschuldigung gefunden.“ (“I can understand your suspicion, sir, but we didn’t find any evidence for this accusation.”) Smith explained as calm as possible. „Und es wäre nicht in unserem Interesse, Japan unrechtmäßig zu beschuldigen, Sir.“ („And it wouldn’t be in our interest to accuse the Japanese wrongfully, sir.”) They shared a long look and for a split second Smith thought he had overstepped a line but surprisingly Goebbels nodded at him with an approving glance. 

“Sie haben recht. Wir sollten nicht voreilig handeln. Ein Krieg würde das Reich nur unnötig belasten, besonders in den Zeiten des Aufbruchs.“ (“You are right. We shouldn’t do anything rash. A war would unnecessarily burden the Reich, especially in times like this.”) Goebbels approved of Smith. “Schließlich hat das Jahr Null soeben erst begonnen. („The Jahr Null had just begun after all.“) Smith nodded and let out a relieved breath.

“Meine Nichte hat mir viel von Ihnen erzählt. Sie sind ein hochangesehener Mann, Reichsmarschall, und ich verlasse mich auf Ihre Einschätzung.“ („My niece told me a lot about you. You are a highly respected man, Reichsmarschall, and I trust your judgment.”) Goebbels added. “Aber ich rate Ihnen dennoch, lassen Sie die Japaner nicht aus den Augen.“ („You should keep an eye on the Japanese nevertheless.“)  
„Jawohl, Sir.” (“Yes, sir.”) Smith replied and Goebbels nodded again.

“Bis der Führer wieder auf den Beinen ist und sich die Lage in Berlin entspannt, überlasse ich Ihnen die alleinige Entscheidungsgewalt über alle Belange im amerikanischen Teil des Reichs, John. Ich vertraue darauf, dass Sie diese Macht nicht missbrauchen und verantwortungsvoll nutzen.“ (“Until the Führer returns and the situation in Berlin relaxes, I will give you the authority to determine about all affairs in the American Reich, John. I trust that you will not abuse this power and you will act responsibly.”) Everyone at the table gaped at Goebbels, including Smith himself. He was stunned. Did Goebbels just grant him full power over America without any actual checks or control from the Reich? It seemed so uncharacteristic for the Nazis to do that, that Smith instantly thought about possible consequences. What could Goebbels gain from this decision? Was it a trap? No one would grant him such freedom for nothing.

“I hope you will appreciate this promotion, Reichsmarschall. Our Führer wanted you to be at the top, to stand as an example for everyone in the American Reich. Then be this man and bring us glory.” The Reichsminister said meaningfully in English and stood up. Smith immediately followed and locked eyes with him. He knew he would be watched, Goebbels would never grant him that much power without overlooking. But still … until Himmler returned, he had the chance to use this and take advantage.  
“I’m honoured, sir.” He said then and raised his arm dutifully. “Heil Himmler.”  
“I hope you have a pleasant trip back, John, thank you for coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> And don't worry, this experiment with German and English will not happen again anytime soon. I just thought it would be more convincing in this situation.
> 
> PS: I hope the next chapter will come as quickly as this, but honestly I don't think so. Too much to do, I'm afraid. But I will try ;)


	3. Show me the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments :)
> 
> Here goes the next one and it will get interesting! The resistance sees their chance and Juliana is making progress. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Inspector Kido sat at his desk in his office and stared at the board. The many faces that surrounded the mystery of the films were staring back at him. Frank Frink, who he finally had found and killed. Juliana Crain, who he was looking for ever since she had left with Tagomi’s help, and Trudy Walker, the biggest mystery of it all.

Tagomi had said, that she was not the Trudy Walker he had known and killed, but a different version of her … from another world. Kido shook his head and closed his eyes with a tired sigh. How could this be? A different world? The idea was insane, but was there another explanation for all this madness? Until now he had not found one. Therefore, he asked Tagomi to come and visit him. He needed answers and Tagomi was the only one he could trust with questions like this. 

He waited patiently in his office, going through his questions he absolutely wanted to be answered, until he heard an uncommon noise. Kido looked up and frowned. What was that? 

Alarmed he stood up, as the guards moved into the hallway, their weapons raised. And then there was this noise again, Kido recognized at last. Gunshots. Running he followed the guards downstairs and barked orders on his way down. Whatever was going on, he needed to protect Tagomi if he was already here. He was his only hope in this mess!

xHCx

Nebenwelt

It had taken Juliana three days to get to San Francisco. Three tiring days she would have liked to use better, for she feared that every added day would bring her own world closer to destruction, but it was important to get to Trudy and it was very likely that her sister would be here. Therefore, she had no other choice. She had to suppress her fears, her thoughts about the machine the Nazis were building. She needed to trust Wyatt to follow their plans and to behold a clear head, to not step in a trap laid out by John Smith, so she could focus on this world, to get back and help them achieving the one important goal. Free of fascism. Free of suppression. Freedom in every way possible.

Determined Juliana walked out of the station in San Francisco and looked around herself. Like New York the city seemed so different to one she was used to. No Japanese flags everywhere you looked. No patrolling guards you weren’t allowed to look in the eye. No one bowed to anyone but lived in simply harmony with each other. No Kido, who tried to catch her anytime he could.

Juliana took a deep breath, it was refreshing, and she wished again for this life in her own world. It was her greatest goal and by far the hardest she ever wanted to achieve. She sighed. It was time to begin her search and she would start at her parents house. 

Slowly she walked down the street and smiled at the familiar buildings. Their structure was still the same and reminded her of the fact, that America had been free in the past, before the war, before everything went to hell, and these two worlds were built on the same basis. The possibility to achieve the same future was not only a dream but a realistic idea. 

As Juliana finally stopped at the right house, she read over the few bell signs and released a relieved sigh, as she read the name ‘Walker’. They lived here. She smiled and didn’t waste another second before pushing down the call button, hopefully her mum could help her to find Trudy, but then she froze. Oh no. She forgot about something important here. In this life Juliana was dead and there was no possible explanation why she wouldn’t be. What would she say, if her mother opened the door? What would she think? Could she even do that to her? 

Juliana thought back to John, the kind John in this life, how he had smiled so happily because he had seen her again, after he had thought she was dead. She remembered her own feelings as Trudy suddenly reappeared in her life, how happy she had been and how terrible sad she had been, as she had to go back. 

Juliana shook her head. No. She couldn’t do that to her mother. She would not stay here, she would disappear again, and it would be like she was dead again. She couldn’t so cruel, therefore she couldn’t wait any longer and ran away. She would find a way to find Trudy, but not with the help of her mother. 

xHCx

As Kido reached the ground floor, he knew it was far worse than he thought. Outside the people were screaming and trying to find shelter in the building, while the attackers were still shooting outside. Kido ran to the front door and froze as he saw the diplomatic car outside, marked with Japanese flags. Oh no, he thought and threw open the door. He needed to get to that car. He needed to protect Tagomi and desperately hoped, he wasn’t to late. 

The guards were running in front of him, shooting at the attackers and protecting Kido, until he reached the car. Crouching down beside the vehicle, Kido opened the door and was met by the heavy body of the trade minister as it fell out of the seat. Hastily he searched for a pulse and as he found at least a low thumb he met Tagomi’s gaze.

“You need to believe.” He rasped and clutched at Kido’s arm. “It will safe our world.” Clueless Kido stared at him and watched with great trouble as Tagomi closed his eyes again and the pressure of his hand vanished. Upset Kido shut his eyes and let go of him. He had been too late. They had gotten him. Tagomi was dead and therefore his only way to find answers. 

With a hatred feeling inside Kido stood up and watched as a motorcycle drove into his direction. The men shooting at his own people. Angrily Kido raised his gun and pointed it at the gunmen who were driving past him, trying to flee the scenery. One, two, three, four. Kido could not stop, until his magazine was empty. And satisfied with himself he smiled at the dead man, who tried to escape. Slowly he stepped to the corpse and understood, why it had taken them so long to put the fighters down. They wear the Kempetei uniform. They had crept in, without anyone knowing and the guards had not known who the enemy was. 

This attack had been planned long beforehand but who was the target, Kido asked himself. Was it Tagomi? But why would they shoot him here and not in his own office. Why would they attack him in front of the police headquarters, where more guards were present. It didn’t make sense, but then … they fled as soon as it was clear, that Tagomi was dead. They immediately drew back and escaped the fight. It had to be Tagomi. And Kido had his suspicions who was responsible for this attack … 

xHCx

“But I don’t understand, sir, we’re finally making progress and now you want to stop.”, Dr. Joseph Mengele said confused while following Smiths brisk walk down the hall of the secret underground lab. “With all due respect, Reichsmarschall, but I believe this would be a great mistake.” Stopping Smith turned to him, an angry expression on his face. Instantly Mengele ducked his head. “I apologize, sir, but I think it’s my duty to inform you of my concerns.”

“I thank you for that, Doctor, but my decision stands. The project is discontinued until I tell you otherwise.”, Smith replied with a hard glare and put on his hat. “Is this clear?” Mengele hesitated and it was obvious, that he didn’t want to follow Smiths command, but as Smith repeated the question with a voice colder than ice, Mengele nodded defeated.

“Yes, sir. The work on the machine will stop at once.”  
“Good.” Smith looked pleased but never put down his grim face. “I hope, I don’t have to remind you what will happen if you do not follow my orders.” At this Mengele looked up and stared at the Reichsmarschall. He knew what Smiths threat meant, but he could only smile at that. Whatever he would do with him, would never be as bad as the things he done to the Jews in the past. He didn’t fear death but nevertheless, he was not ready to leave this world just yet. There was still so much to discover, and he hoped, when Himmler got back that he could work again on his new project for he believed, it would be his greatest discovery.

“I understand, Reichsmarschall.” Mengele finally replied and Smith turned on his heels, leaving him alone.

As soon as Smith got out of the tunnels, he took a deep breath. It felt good to have told Mengele to stop this horrible project. It had killed innocent people and for what? For not knowing anything new but that there was another dimension somewhere in this universe. They didn’t even have a clue how the process worked, just that there was another world and they would kill hundreds of people without getting any nearer to the truth than before. 

He had no other choice but to stop this nonsense, although the machine inspired hope in him to see Thomas again. That was his only interest in this project, he admitted. After seeing those films, his longing to see his son was more prominent than ever, and this horrible machine was a promising aspect, but he knew that it was wrong. He knew, he had to accept his son’s death someday and should not support such a contemptuous project. Smith sighed and looked sadly ahead. He would give everything to get his family back. 

“Excuse me, sir, but there is a message for you.” He quickly put on his mask again, a stony not showing any affection masks he had perfected in the last years and nodded at the young soldier while grabbing for the paper. Slowly he read over it and felt his heart sank. 

“Is this message confirmed?” Smith commanded as he moved to the car, the soldier on his feet.  
“Yes, sir.”  
“When did this happen?”  
“I got the message a few minutes ago, sir.” The young man replied.  
“We need to get back to the office. Immediately!” Hurrying he threw open the door and jumped inside the car. He needed to get on to a phone as soon as possible. If this message was true, he needed to act quickly before the whole world would stand at the abyss; again. “Prepare the office for a call to the pacific states. I need to speak to Inspector Kido himself. Tell them it’s urgent.”  
“Yes, sir.” And the young soldier pressed down onto the gas pedal, throwing Smith back into his seat.

xHCx

Patiently listening to the Japanese admiral Kido stood at the edge of the overfilled conference room. A dozen military officers, a few guards and some important people in Japanese hierarchy were called together immediately to speak about how to handle the tragic death of the trade minister. He was murdered, that was clear, and the leadership believed to know who was behind this attack. The Nazis. They had tried to kill Tagomi a few times now, but all send assassins had failed. But today they had succeeded and there was no way the Japanese could let this not answered. 

“We need to attack them now!” Some officer demanded and stood. “Our weapons are prepared, sir, our soldiers are prepared. We knew this day would come and now the time has come.” His enthusiasm was liked by many of the audience and to Kido’s apprehension even the admiral smiled at his words. 

His mouth twitched. This time they would go through with this, he felt in his veins. They wanted to have a war with the Nazis, although they knew even with all their military power that the Nazis would overpower them. They yearned for it and Kido didn’t know why. It could destroy them altogether.

“Inspector.” Someone whispered into his direction and he turned around to a young assistant. He looked at him with a sheepish smile.  
“What is it?” Kido demanded in an unfriendly manner.  
“Excuse me, sir, but there is a call for you.”  
“Don’t you see that I’m in an important meeting.” He hissed and ignored him again.  
“I’m sorry, sir, but the caller was very insistent that you speak to him.”  
“Who is it then?”  
“Reichsmarschall John Smith, sir.” Surprised Kido turned back to her and frowned before quickly pushing the man out of the room and following him down the hall. Whatever Smith wanted from him, he had a feeling that it had to do with Tagomi and would lead to a world changing aspect. 

xHCx

Nebenwelt

Maybe it was fate or just luck but as Juliana entered the old park, she used to play in with h sister, she was blessed with the sight of Trudy, her dear sister, sitting on one of the benches and staring ahead over the empty playground. Memories came flooding back and Juliana felt tears pricking at her eyes, as she remembered the simpler times.

Slowly she walked over to her sister and thought about possible ways to start the conversation, but it seemed all so meaningless and simply sat down beside her, waiting for a reaction. And it didn’t take long as she heard Trudy gasp and then she was hauled into her arms.

“How … how is this possible?” Trudy cried as she slung her arms around Juliana’s shoulders and held on tight. “You can travel? Oh god, I can’t even tell how happy I am to see you.”  
“Me too.” Juliana murmured and stroke over her back. “It’s good to see you, Trudy.” Then her sister broke up the embrace and searched her eyes.  
“But why are you here? What did happen?” Juliana sighed and couldn’t stop the tears from falling while she thought about the past days and told Trudy everything: 

She told her about what she had seen in the films, about Joe and his tragic death she would always regret, although she knew that there had been no other way; about the mystery machine the Nazis were building and how close they were to travel into another dimension; and finally she told her about her imprisonment, how they had got her and that they got Abendsen as well. 

“And then you travelled here?” Trudy asked tenderly while holding her hand tightly. Juliana nodded and swiped the tears away. “It was lucky that you landed here, in San Francisco that is, here you knew at least where you were.” She tried for a smile, but her sister just shook her head.  
“I woke up in New York.” Juliana told her and frowned slightly. “I was rescued by Smith.” Trudy’s eyes widened.  
“He followed you?”  
“No.” She shook her head. “I think I had been in a relationship with him … here … in this world.” Surprised Trudy’s eyebrows shot to her hairline. “He had tried to kiss me, you see. In any case, he knew me, and I could see the love in his eyes.” Juliana shuddered. “It was disturbing, you know, to see your enemy looking at you like this. I ran away as soon as possible.” Understanding, Trudy nodded.

“Did you know anything about this? That my other self had known him?”  
“No, but to be honest, we didn’t see each other often before you … died. You were traveling a lot. Working in the east, while I stayed here.” Juliana nodded with a sad expression on her face.  
“I know this is not an easy question, but … could you tell me how I died?”, she asked then, as tenderly as she could. Her sister sighed quietly.  
“You threw yourself in front of a bus.” She told her then and Juliana froze. Abendsen was right. She never changed, only the people around her and in this world, there had not been a Frank who put her back together, and so she had died in the accident. “It happened over a year ago.” Juliana nodded and thought briefly of John, who had thought of her dead and suddenly saw her in the streets. Alive. And for the very first time, she felt sorry for him because she was just a ghost who would go away as fast as it came. She knew that hurt and wished he had not to feel it.

“So, what is your plan?” Trudy asked hesitantly and met Juliana’s gaze. “Will you stay? You would be safe here.” Juliana smiled at that. Yes, she would be safe here. No Nazis. No pons. Just freedom and the possibility to live her life in peace. It was tempting, but Juliana knew she didn’t belong here. She belonged into another world she needed to fix. Therefore, she shook her head.  
“I cannot.” She replied full of sorrow and saw in Trudy’s upset face. “I’m sorry.”  
“What will you do instead? Why do you want to go back into this world?”  
“I belong there.” Juliana murmured. “You should know it better than anyone else. You had felt it. The pull. And I can feel it, too.” Suddenly she stood and looked around her; listening to the peaceful sounds of the city. “I need to get back, Trudy. They need my help to change the world. To make it as free as yours. And I need your help, to figure out how.” Her eyes widened in surprise as Juliana walked back up to her. A determined expression on her face, her hand outstretched. “Will you help me?” For a long moment Trudy just stared back at her sister before she finally raised her arm and placed it in Juliana’s hand: “You bet.”

xHCx

“Here is Inspector Kido.” Kido said calmly into the phone as soon as he reached the phone, although his heart was beating fast and erratic.  
“Inspector.” Smith greeted him from the other side.  
“Reichsmarschall.” He let his voice sound surprised. “What can I do for you?” Kido heard the other man sigh and frowned instantly, something was off. Smith never showed any signs of weakness of any kind, he was the most undismayed man he had ever known but now he couldn’t even suppress an unintentional sigh. Something was definitely off.

“I’m calling you to express my condolences, inspector. Mr. Tagomi was a highly regarded man and didn’t deserve such a death.” Smith began while Kido waited for the other shoe to drop. He didn’t just call for that. “I met him once, you know, I quite liked him. He was a seasonable man, knew what was good for his country, fighting for it with the right means for sure. It is a shame that such a man had to die.” There was an uncomfortable pause. Kido didn’t react to his words at all, just waiting for the important moment. Smith cleared his throat. “I’m just glad, that he is not the only seasonable man, inspector.” It laid a heavy meaning in his words. “The other reason why I’m calling is to reassure you that we didn’t have to do anything with this attack. I didn’t give any order to harm Tagomi, inspector. As I told you, he was a good man and there was never any reason to kill him. Not for us anyway.” Kido huffed.

“He was a good man, and I thank you for giving me this information, but you have to understand it is hard to believe.” Kido could literally feel how Smith tensed. “Your Führer send a lot of assassins to kill Tagomi. He was a target of yours and now he is dead.”  
“Himmler was shot. He can’t give orders. I’m in charge and I didn’t order anyone to kill Tagomi, I can assure you.” Smith defended himself and Kido smirked humourless. Could he really believe him? He wanted to, just to prevent another war, but could he really do it?

“Who was it then?” Silence.  
“I don’t know, but I will help you to find out who …”  
“I think we’re quite capable of this on our own.” Kido interrupted him annoyed and Smith felt silent for a moment until he finally got to the point.

“Inspector, I hope you know how important it is to understand that the Reich had nothing to do with Tagomi’s death.” His voice was harsher and determinant. “I don’t want to risk another incident between our countries. Do you?” Kido clenched his jaw. No, he didn’t want to risk it either. A war would destroy everything but as he looked over his shoulder into the conference room, he knew it was too late. No one would listen to him, no one would believe him even if they listened. 

“I wished for another answer, Reichsmarschall, but I think it’s too late for this.” He finally confessed and heard Smith swallow. “For my country, the evidence is sufficient. I’m powerless to stop them.”  
“You have to.”, was Smith’s only answer. It sounded like a command. A helpless one that is. “You know they’re risking everything. A war between us would destroy the world we live in. You served in the war, we witnessed it ourselves. Do you want that again?”  
“We are not the same, Reichsmarschall. I will honour my country and if they decide that this war is necessary then I will stand by its side.” Kido replied between clenched teeth and hated himself for his words because they were true. He would fight for his country even if he you knew that it was wrong and pointless. Nevertheless, he knew he was a better man than Smith. He had betrayed his country and joined the opposing side. Kido would never do that.

“You are right, we’re not the same.” Smith finally answered, his voice tied. “You will never understand why I did it.” The line went dead.

xHCx

Wyatt stood on the self-made platform and watched hundreds of people gathering around them. All of them resolved to change the world and finally the day had come. The resistance would rise today! They would take the chance while the Japanese and Nazis were occupied with themselves. They would make good use of this deflection to fight for their goal. 

“I have fighters.” He called out to the people who attentively looked up at him. “In all great cities, in San Francisco, in New York, anywhere you will look, you will see the resistance rise, fighting for our freedom!” Cheering was heard. “We waited long enough and today is the day! We will fight them! We will overpower them! We will destroy them!” The cheering got louder, and Wyatt smiled satisfied. His blood pumping. The time had come to revenge Juliana. To make her wish come true, to destroy everything she hated and to kill the one man who murdered her without a second thought. Wyatt’s eyes went cold. He would kill this bastard with his own hands. He would kill John Smith and it would be his greatest victory in this fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear from you!!!


	4. Show me your darkest secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes a deep breath … maaaaaan … this chapter was not an easy one for me. We are getting into deep shit here which will lead us to the decisive moment of this story although it will be a long way until then but nevertheless it all begins with the smallest of things ;) :D 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it. Would love to hear from you if you think that this might truly happen in the story :D

Nebenwelt

“And you really think this could work?” Trudy had asked sceptical. “I mean, I never met him in person but all the stories, you never said something good about this man, how could he even be a nice guy?”  
“I couldn’t understand it either at the time, I was rather surprised, but he was nice … a courteous husband, a loving father, and that’s why I’m sure my plan will work.” Juliana had replied. “Trudy, he would do anything for his family, and I will use this tiny good part in him.” 

Juliana understood Trudy’s doubt, she couldn’t know if her plan would work neither, but it was the best approach they had, and it was worth a try. Therefore, she had took the next bus back to New York City and was now standing in front of John Smith’s house. A plan in mind but uncertain of how she should proceed. Everything depended on her next steps and she was frightened to say something wrong and destroy her whole plan, which could save her own world of collapsing, but in the end, there was never a choice for her. She just needed to try and work from there on. She rang the bell.

“Juliana?” Her heart sped up, as John Smith opened the door, fixing her with a confused gaze. This “casual” meeting was still surreal to her.  
“Hey.” She mumbled quietly and looked shyly away, thinking about her next words.  
“What are you doing back here? I thought …”  
“I’m sorry I left.” Juliana interrupted him and stared into his tender green eyes. Still full of concern. “I should have stayed here but it was just really overwhelming, you know. The car crash, the bullet wound, seeing you … and don’t remembering you, anything at all to be honest.” John’s eyes widened as he understood. “It got over my head and I got scared.”  
“I understand.” He said softly. “And … do you remember now?”  
“No.” Juliana replied honestly for she didn’t know anything about their life together. “But sometimes a memory comes back to me and … you were there … you were always there, so I thought I should come back.” It was the best explanation she could find, and she desperately hoped he would believe her lie. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand it at the time. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you.” John replied then and looked sadly at her. “I just hoped for a miracle, you know.”  
“I know. I’m sorry.”  
“No. No don’t be. I’m happy, you are alive, Jules.” A tender smiled appeared on his face. “That’s the only thing that matters to me right now.” And suddenly Juliana smiled back at him, surprised about how easy it came to her.

“John?!” Somebody called out to him in the next moment and both felt silent, while John slowly turned around and was suddenly accompanied by his wife Helen.  
“Oh, hello there.” A confused expression on her face. “We missed you dear. You were gone so suddenly.”  
“I’m sorry.” Juliana said and wanted to explain everything, but John was faster and told his wife a brief summary. One that could not be interpreted in the wrong way. He was still good at words, Juliana noticed, could lie without blushing and could find his way out of anything while hiding his darkest secrets. Like an affair for example. 

“Juliana, I promise you, you don’t have to fear anything. You will stay here for a while, only until you get your bearings of course.” Helen’s words took her back to reality, but Juliana could only stare at her. Did she just offer a bed in her house? She looked at John, but he refused to meet her eyes, obviously uncomfortable. 

She wanted to decline, for obvious reasons, but she could not do that. She needed to be here and if she could live here, it would make everything simpler. Therefore, she nodded without a second thought, surprising herself and John whose eyebrows shot up with her decision. 

“Wonderful.” Helen said then with a smile, dismissing her husband’s reaction and ushered them inside. Talking about the kids and how happy Thomas would be to see her again and to know that she was well. “You wouldn’t believe how often he asked us about you. He was so concerned.” Juliana smiled with a tide smile.  
“He was quite besotted by you.” John muttered with a grimace.  
“He is a nice boy.” She reassured both as she was seated at the family table, watching as Helen prepared the meal and John putting down the dishes. It was quite a normal sight, a comforting one, she thought, and she wished she would not have to do what she had to, but she knew there was no other way but to use their hospitality and to destroy it in the end.

xHCx

Tired Smith sat down at the desk in his office und borrowed his face in his hands. The last weeks had stressed him to no end. He felt every muscle in his body protest to stand erect but knew that this was his duty, his commitment to the Reich. He had known it would not be easy to protect his family this way, nevertheless he had chosen the path und would not deviate because he would protect them ‘til the bitter end.

“Sorry to disturb you, sir, but there is an urgent matter you need to attend to.” The voice of his assistant was strained, Smith noticed and raised an eyebrow.  
“What happened?”  
“The resistance, sir, they attacked us.” Suddenly Smiths attention laid on him. “It was a planned attack, sir, it happened everywhere at the same time.”  
“Everywhere … in where exactly?”  
“In a lot of cities all over the Reich, sir, like Chicago, Detroit and even Philadelphia.” Alarmed Smith stood up and rounded his desk. Philadelphia was nearer than he had thought the attackers would be. “I believe they will try for New York City next, sir.” He agreed. Her destination was clear, and Smith was sure, that the resistance had one goal in particular – the SS headquarters, maybe he in particular. He narrowed his eyes; they would never get to this point. He would make sure of this. 

“Inform the general. Our troops will be sent out. Right now. We need to force them back.” His assistant nodded and walked out, leaving Smith with a grim face behind.

“This is just the beginning.”, he heard Abendsen say and clenched his fists. Maybe but it would also be the end!

xHCx

Nebenwelt

Absently Juliana walked next to Thomas down the avenue, the family’s dog on its leash, while he was smiling happily and telling her about every exciting moment in his life that might interest her. Naturally she smiled at his attempts to impress her, wondering why the young boy liked her that much. It had happened in her own world as well, Thomas had been quite besotted by her back then, had sought her out to ask for advice and had told her his worst fears. And now it was the same. He craved her attention and Juliana felt sorry for him, for she would never return his feelings but would use it instead. She would misuse him and she felt bad for it.

“Can I ask you something?” Thomas asked slightly ashamed and Juliana looked in his direction.  
“Of course. What’s bothering you?”  
“I don’t know if I should even talk about it.” He hesitated. “It’s ridiculous.”  
“Nothing is ridiculous if it keeps your mind that occupied, Thomas. Maybe I can help you.” He smiled brightly up at her and nodded.

“Do you feel sometimes like you … belong somewhere else?” Surprised Juliana stared at him. “That a part of you is lost … like something has died inside of you … and you can’t replace it.” Could he be talking about … No, it could not be, could it? “I know, it sounds ridiculous and I did never feel like that before, but for a few months I feel like there is something missing, it’s like a tender pull into a world unknown.” Juliana stopped, whereupon Thomas stopped as well and looked at her. A question in his eyes. “I’m sorry, if my ramblings were …”  
“No.” She interrupted him and shared a look with him. “I know what you mean.” A relieved smile appeared on his face.  
“Thank god, I thought I was crazy.”  
“No, you are not, Thomas. I promise you, I can feel it, too. The pull.” She stepped into him and whispered. “And sometimes the pull gets stronger. You can feel it in every cell of your body and suddenly you feel the freedom in it, and you are in this other world.” Spellbound Thomas looked in her eyes and broke into laughter next, but Juliana just stared at him, never pulling a muscle and tried to convince him of her unusual words. She didn’t lie to him and she hoped, he would see it. He had to.

“Wait … are you serious.” Thomas finally said after his laughter had died and looked back at her. “I don’t understand. Honestly, if you thought I could travel into another world, then you are wrong. It just feels like it sometimes, you know.” At that Juliana smiled tenderly at him. “Like an escape I could use, but that’s insane. There is just this world and nothing more.”  
“Are you sure about that?” Her words challenging. “Did you ever ask yourself why I had been wearing this prison jumper, why I had this bullet wound but wasn’t missing from any prison nor were hunted down by the police?” She knew she acted rash, didn’t give Thomas much time to understand but she could feel that this moment was her chance to win him over, to make him see and so she moved on. 

“Thomas, I don’t know this world you are living in, I’m just a visitor.”  
“Why are you doing this?” Thomas asked then and looked betrayed. “It’s not funny.”  
“No, it’s not, Thomas, and I solemnly swear that I’m telling you the truth. You need to believe me, although it’s sound crazy.” Juliana pleaded with him. “Trust me. Please.” 

“But father recognized you. He knew you as we rescued you. That’s the reason why he even took you to our house, so he can make sure that you are safe.” Thomas yelled at her, showing how illogical her idea was. But Juliana just shook her head sadly at him.  
“You’re right, your father recognized me but … it’s not me he was recognizing, Thomas, it was someone who looked just like me but this person … it doesn’t exist anymore. This woman is dead.” Disparaging Thomas crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
“I don’t believe you.” He shook his head. Hard. “This can’t be true. You are making fun of me. This is all a lie.”  
“Thomas.” Juliana interrupted him gently. “You need to calm down. I know it’s a lot to take in and believe me, I thought that his idea was crazy as well but right now I’m experiencing it. I am in another world and I need your help, Thomas, so please …”  
“Show me.”  
“What?”  
“Show me that you can travel.” Thomas said and gave her a challenging look. “And I will help you with whatever you need from me.” Juliana narrowed her eyes at him, considering his request. She didn’t try to travel in the past few days, unsure of how it would end. She could not be sure where she would wake up and was afraid that it was in the hands of John Smith. She feared traveling back but knew she had to in time and apparently the time had come. 

“Okay.” Juliana finally replied and nodded at him. “I will show you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is not very long but I thought it would be better this way... Working on the next one :)
> 
> Hope you liked it ;)


	5. War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ... this chapter took me a long while ... I don't know exactly why but it did :D 
> 
> Hope you are still with me and curious about their next moves.

“Miss Dörmer.” Smith greeted the young reporter and shook hands with her, “I didn’t know you wanted to pay me a visit.” Nicole Dörmer smiled charmingly at him.  
“But of course, Reichsmarschall, the situation couldn’t be any better to show our people how strong the Reich is.” Smith’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “To see the strong Reichsmarschall defeating the resistance at the front, never surrendering but staunchly until his last breath. This will be a beautiful story.” He nodded slowly in acknowledge. “And my uncle is right in saying that we should keep up with our work on the new world although our Führer is hurt, therefore …” Something in her voice sounded rather bitterly, Smith noticed but let it slide for now. He answered with a distracted “Naturally” instead.  
“I’m glad you see it the same way.” Nicole smiled wildly then, before walking nimbly a few feet away from him and viewed the scene in front of her. The freshly build barracks stood proudly around her while soldier after soldier entered the camp to prepare for his duty for the Reich. As she looked in one of the tents, she noticed a television, showing the young men why it was such an honour to fight for their country.

Nicole’s smile dropped as it reminded her of the recently visited re-education camp. It was not an honour, she thought, to fight for a country which can’t accept people who are different but force them to change their point of view to fit in again. A cold shiver ran down her body as she remembered their ways of re-educating, shouting at her, hitting her as she didn’t answer the right way or using far worse to remind them, that women and men had certain positions in society and that any other way was wrong and abnormal. 

She sighed. She wished for another world, in which she could be free, but she didn’t forget where she came from and what she was. She was a Lebensborn, Goebbels niece, she had to follow the rules, or it would end the same way as before or worse.

“Miss Dörmer?” Nicole visibly winced as Smith’s low voice reminded her, that she wasn’t alone.  
“I can already see it.” She nodded to herself then and put her hands in front of her, to capture the right frame. “This will be good propaganda, I’m sure about it.”   
“I’m sure your work will be appreciated.” Smith murmured without enthusiasm, thinking back to the film about Thomas. “But there are rules you have to follow.” At that Nicole turned back to him. “I’m sure your uncle wants the best results of this project but it’s his priority to keep you safe.” He gave her a meaningful look. “And therefore, it’s mine as well.”   
“I will follow your rules, Reichsmarschall. I’m well aware off the risks.” A dark look caught in her eyes while Smith watched her carefully. He had the feeling something was off; he had met Nicole Dörmer before and she had never been that tense. She had truly tried to keep the façade up, but it didn’t work on him. He could see through it but at this moment he had no idea what was behind that false mask, nevertheless, he would find out. He would keep an eye on her, and he would find on. He always did.

xHCx

The last days had been hard on them. There had been a lot of victims, the number too high to even pronounce, but Wyatt was never surer that they would succeed. They had taken a lot of bases that belonged to the Nazis, so their faith to win this war was still strong. They had defeated them on more than one day and so Wyatt could literally smell the final blood. 

“Wyatt!” Lem shouted and came up to him.   
“What is it, man?”   
“He is here.” Lem answered with a grin, “Smith is here.” Surprised Wyatt looked at him and couldn’t help but smile himself. Could it really be that easy to get this monster? “We could attack them tomorrow night and kill this fucker.” Wyatt thought about it and pictured it, the victorious moment, John Smith lying at his feet, begging for forgiveness. The feeling burnt like fire in his veins, he would take revenge for Juliana and he would not show mercy for this man.   
“Let’s do it.” Wyatt confirmed and clapped Lem on the shoulder. “Prepare everything, we will take him down tomorrow night.”

xHCx

Nebenwelt

Juliana met Thomas after school in the old and empty sports hall of his high school, his eyes wide and expectant but also sceptical. She couldn’t blame him for this feeling, it was a rather uncommon situation after all. She wanted to show him how she travelled between two worlds, what sane human being wouldn’t doubt her. 

“Are you sure this is a good place?” Juliana asked rather nervously and looked around her. No one was seen but this was a rather big place and it was likely that someone could come by, so she doubted Thomas decision to choose this public location for showing him her secret was the best one.

“Don’t worry.” Thomas shrugged. “No one comes here. It’s just a storage room for things the school doesn’t need anymore. They all use the new gym.” He showed her the old furnishing as to prove his statement. “It’s really quiet here, that’s the reason why I like it. You can spend a few moments without all the high school stuff before returning to lessons.” Juliana nodded slowly.  
“You spend a lot of time here?”  
“Yeah.” He confessed rather embarrassed but changed the topic then. “How will it happen? Do I have to do something?” She smiles sweetly at him and shook her head.  
“No. You don’t need to do anything. Just watch.” Thomas nodded and followed her to the gymnastic mats, sitting down in front of her.

“It will take a few minutes, I guess.” Juliana said somehow awkwardly and crossed her legs. “Please don’t talk to me while I concentrate, okay? I need to focus.” Thomas nodded again and leaned back on his arms while watching her curiously, not quite believing what they were doing here, but Juliana’s calm gaze somehow made him believe that she really made no fun of him but was serious. 

“Ready?” She asked with an amused smile.  
“Yeah.” Thomas replied with a grin and watched as Juliana closed her eyes, blew out a long breath of air und relaxed in her position. Transfixed he paid attention to every small detail and smiled to himself as he got the chance to just stare at her without being spotted by anyone. Did she know that he liked her, he asked himself absently? Did he even want her to? He was just a teenage boy after all, why would someone like her be interested him. It was ridiculous and so it was better if she wasn’t aware of his feelings, he thought, nevertheless he wished for nothing more. He sighed quietly and let his gaze fall just as something happened in front of him.

Surprised Thomas looked back up and stared with an open mouth at Juliana. The air was humming around her. The light was flickering and suddenly he could feel a strong wind coming up, surrounding her while the humming and the flickering got stronger. Afraid of the experience he moved forward and wanted to say something to Juliana but right at this moment she simply disappeared into thin air. Thomas gasped and swallowed hard. Did she just travel? He looked around himself but saw no one. How was this even possible?

xHCx

Nebenwelt

Shocked John stood in the doorframe, hidden from his son’s view, while he watched Juliana disappear. What the hell had just happened? 

xHCx

Angrily Smith stared at the burning films they had finally captured from the resistance, destroying their propaganda toy. It had taken them a lot of manpower to achieve this goal, but he believed that it was a good way to disperse them and their hopes and dreams. He knew what these films show, he himself had seen too much of them and knew what a great influence they could have on oneself. But it had not helped him at all to process the death of his son, they had made it harder instead, so actually he did them a favour. They should not believe in something that would never occur. 

“Sir, there is call for you.” A soldier called out to him.  
“Who is it?” Smith asked while turning in his direction.  
“Your wife, sir.” At this he looked up the soldier before he nearly ran into the prepared tent in which another soldier was already holding up the phone for him to take. Smith swallowed quietly as he took the phone from him, his hands trembling a little bit.

“Leave.” He called then before he put the phone to his ear and breathed a hesitant “Helen.” into the phone.  
“John!” Emotional Smith closed his eyes and put his hand over them. God, it was so good to hear her voice. “John, can you hear me? Where are you? I saw this propaganda film and saw you in it.” She was rambling and sounded rather frightened.  
“Hey.” His voice cracked a little bit. “Calm down, Helen, everything is fine.”  
“How can you say this? You are at the front, John!” She nearly cried from the other end of the line. “I’m scared, John, scared to never see you again.” He closed his eyes more tightly as he felt the relieve flow into his body. To know that she didn’t give up on him completely was the best news he had received in the past weeks since they had left him.

“Don’t be scared, Helen, I promise you nothing will happen to me. I will come back to you and the girls.” His voice determined and strong. He needed her to believe in him.   
“It isn’t worth it, John.” Surprised Smith stayed silent for a few seconds.   
“What do you mean?”  
“To fight for this goddamn Reich.” He frowned at that. He had known that Helen had reservations for the Reich since they had taken Thomas from them, but it was a very dangerous topic to talk so freely about.  
“Helen.” He warned.  
“Don’t.” She interrupted him rather sharply and took a deep breath. “Listen to me, John. I never told you why I ran away with the girls. Not precisely that is. So, I will tell you now.”  
“Okay.” His voice hoarse.  
“As the nurse came into our home and wanted to take blood from Jennifer, I noticed that the injection wasn’t empty.” She made a pregnant pause while Smith’s gaze turned steely already. “I don’t know what was in there but I’m pretty sure that it was poison, John. They wanted to kill her. Our daughter, John.” His jaw tensed. “And that’s why I couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t let them take away another of our children.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?” John demanded with a strained voice. His anger rising.  
“I was scared, John. What could you have done? It was Himmler and he will always stand above you in this game. You are just a pawn in his game.” Helen tried to explain quite desperately and hoped her husband could understand her motivations. She didn’t want to hurt him with her words, but it was true, and Smith had known it himself, he just didn’t want to acknowledge it; until now.

“Not any longer.” He breathed into the phone and narrowed his eyes. “I promise you that no one will ever hurt you and our family again, Helen.” A sniff was his only answer. “I promise you.”  
“I love you, John.”  
“I love you, too.” Smith whispered sincerely and fell silent, just enjoying the sound of her breathing. “Tell me that you are safe, Helen, I need to know that you and the girls are safe before I can go on.”  
“We are, John.” His wife promised and he smiled a watery smile. Relieving all his tension of the last weeks. 

“You are the strongest person I ever met, you know.” Smith confessed to her and went down memory lane for a moment. “I’m glad I didn’t let you go back then. You made me brave, you know, until this very day.” Surprised Helen listened to his kind words, wondering where all this came from for it sounded like a goodbye. “I will be forever grateful for everything you’ve done.”  
“John.” She breathed but her husband interrupted her softly.  
“He has to die, Helen. There is no other way.” A sob broke free from her. “Tell the girls I love them for me, okay?” Helen just hummed, unable to form words. “I will be in contact, my love.” And then the line went blank, leaving Helen in a great need of comfort for she believed that she would never see her husband again.

xHCx

A harsh gasp escaped Juliana as she opened her eyes again and found herself not longer in the old gym hall but in a place unknown to her. A place so dark and lifeless she felt a cold shiver run down her back. Where was she and what the hell had happened here? 

Frightened she took a few steps forward, following the grey street and looked at the destroyed houses along it; watched the still burning cars that stood as a barricade and swallowed hard as she found the first body lying underneath a wreck. Her eyes dropped immediately, and she closed her eyes to swallow the pain that ran through her, every time she had to witness such a horrified sight. 

Nevertheless, she needed to know what had happened here and crouched down beside the dead body. With sad eyes she inspected the man and recognised Frank’s symbol he had drawn for the resistance on the man’s shoulder. The rising sun. A simple symbol so strong it could move the world and apparently the fight for a new world had already begun. 

Troubled Juliana stood back up and looked around her. The war had begun but was she already too late? Did the Nazis win over the resistance or was there still a winning chance for them? 

“Juliana?” Alarmed she turned around to the voice and gaped at the young boy who stood in front of her.  
“T-thomas?” Her voice faltered. “How did you … How is this even …?”  
“What happened here?” Thomas interrupted her thoughts and pointed at the destroyed houses, cars and everything surrounding them. “Is this your world?” Frightened he came up to her. “Juliana, what happened?”  
“I don’t know.” She whispered quite overwhelmed because of his presence while shielding the dead body of his view. He should not have to see something like that. Never. 

“We need to get of the street.” Juliana finally said after her shock went off and grabbed Thomas hand. “It’s not safe out here.”  
“Then let’s get back.” He insisted but she just shook her head. No, they could not go. There was not much time left and so, she had to go through with her plan. No more postponing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huhuuuu ... That's gonna be interesting. I loved to write about John and Helen, wish to see something like this on screen <3  
> And now I'm curious myself what will happen in the next chapter. What is Juliana up to with Thomas and what will Smith do with this new information?! :D
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter. Would love to read from you ;)


	6. To see you die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked to write this chapter. So much is going to happen and aaaah, I'm excited to get to next points in this!!!
> 
> Hope you are still with me and I thank you for your comments, it always makes me happy :)
> 
> PS: I really hoped to get more patient with all this waiting until possible october to see the new season but ... I get more patient than before hahahaha :D  
> I just want to watch it already!!!! So excited :D

On his way back to New York City Smith was seething with rage. To know that Himmler had tried to kill his girls without even knowing if they were ill made him want to strangle that bastard. He had lost one child to a nation that thought it would be necessary to eliminate a sweet young boy who never did anything wrong in this world just because he was ill. Smith clenched his teeth. His children were precious to him and he had been too weak to protect his son, he would always blame himself for that, but he would not let it happen again. He could not and so, he had no other choice than to drive back into town and end this nightmare for evermore.

As he walked along the corridors of the hospital Smith felt for the ampoule in his jacket pocket. He knew it was dangerous and naïve to be here, to act so rashly and to believe that no one will ever find out, but he couldn’t care less. He felt that he had no choice, he had to do it, or he would never be happy again. And so, he walked on, acting like everything was fine, greeting the nurses and doctors in return on his way to the room. Some of them seemed to be surprised to see him here, and rightly so, but no one asked. No one ever asked his permission for anything, they all just obeyed, and in this moment, Smith was incredibly thankful for this.

As Smith reached Himmler’s patient room, he was met with two soldiers, standing guard in front of it.   
“Good evening.” He greeted them with his dark authoritarian voice. Instantly the guards held up their hands and greeted him respectfully in return before standing aside to let the Reichsmarschall pass. Again, no questions were asked, they wouldn’t dare.

Inside Smith quickly scanned the room for any observation advices and was relieved as he couldn’t find anything suspicious. This would be easier than he had expected. 

Turning around to Himmler he felt his anger flaming up inside him again. Smith wanted to wake him and let him see, who would kill him. He wanted to see the fear in his eyes, to let him feel the same pain he caused his family. He wanted to make it his worst nightmare but knew better. There was no time for something like that, to delay his revenge, the risk to be caught was to high for this. Nevertheless, Smith longed for it.

With calm steps he came up to Himmler, watching his deep breaths for a moment, before pulling out the ampoule. The poison inside similar to the one Dr Adler had given him to eliminate his own son but so much trickier, because it would not act instantly but only show his deathly power after a few hours’ time. And at this time Smith would already be back in Philadelphia, fighting at the front, showing his support for the Reich. It was a good plan, not thoroughly thought through, but a good plan, nevertheless. 

“You deserve a much more painful death than this.” Smith murmured to Himmler while connecting the ampoule to the drip feed, making sure that the poisonous liquid was running constantly. “I wish I could kill you with my bare hands, to feel the life draining out off you, but … sometimes you can’t get everything you dream off, right?” At last the ampoule was empty and he put it back into his pocket, folding his hands in front of him while looking at Himmler for the last time. He hoped the bastard would rot in hell. 

xHCx

It had been two long days since Juliana returned into her own world with Thomas at her side. Two stressful days which had frightened and unsettled the young man even more than before. To be in another world that looked a lot like his own but wasn’t, was confusing enough but to find out that this America was controlled by the Nazis and Japanese had thrown him into scared mood. In his history lessons he had learned a lot about the Nazis and knew how terrible their regency had been; how many people had to die for their ideology and how many had suffered just because of their insane vision. He couldn’t imagine how life was but as he looked around him and saw the destroyed streets, he knew it couldn’t be good.

“Are you one of them?” Thomas had asked Juliana as soon as he had witnessed the first swastika symbol on a flag, Juliana not even flinching. He had been scared that he had spent this whole time with someone like this, who could live happily in a world full of hate and rules which destroyed the humanity in people.   
“No.” Juliana had answered, sincerity in her voice. “I fight against them.” 

Her words had been a relieve to him although he could never be sure of her honesty but it had made it easier for him to follow her through the dark streets of New York City; to trust her and to believe her as she tried to shield him from everything that was connected to the Nazis. She wanted him to feel safe and he did, nevertheless, he could see her own fear in her eyes, and it made him uneasy.

“We are here.” Juliana finally said as they rounded the corner into a dirty alley and pulled Thomas along with her.   
“Where is here?”   
“A friend of mine lives here.” She answered and tried to open the door but had no luck. Upset she banged against the metal und screamed Wyatt’s name in hope that he or someone else of the resistance would hear her. She needed to find him. “He has to be here. We need his help.” She said more to herself than to Thomas, who walked a few feet away from her. “Oh god, where is he?” Juliana whispered and tried not to panic. 

In the meantime, Thomas had stopped in front of a window, watching the small tv inside. It showed something like a propaganda video, with pictures of big camps build amidst a forest, hundreds of soldiers arriving in these camps, desperate to fight for their nation. Thomas swallowed. He had the feeling that this was not some video from years ago but very current. And then he recognized someone, and his heart fell. 

“Juliana!” His voice sounded frightened, nearly hysterical and Juliana came running towards him.  
“What … what is it?” She asked immediately as he pointed at the screen, showing no other than John Smith, the Reichsmarschall of the American Reich. For a moment, her heart stopped beating. Oh no.

“What is this?” Thomas asked. “Why is he here? How is this even possible?”  
“Thomas, you need to calm down.”  
“No!” He screamed at her and pointed again at his father’s face on the tv. “Tell me! Why is he here and why is he … is he wearing this uniform?” His voice faltered as tears came to his eyes. He could not believe what he was seeing and was frightened about the possible answer. This was his father and … and … Thomas couldn’t even bring himself to think about the plausible truth. He needed Juliana to name it.

“Tell me.” He said again, his voice stronger and Juliana sighed.  
“It’s not your father.” She answered him then. “Not really, that is. I told you that everyone existed in these different worlds, remember? Not only in your world but in this world, too. I exist here and I existed in your world. You existed here as well.” She made a pause and made him remember her explanations. “And your father also exists here in my world. In a world that is so different to yours that … he had to make difficult choices.” At that she paused and wrestled with herself. She wanted to tell Thomas about his father’s real nature in this world; she wanted to show him how bad John Smith actually was, what he had done to her and so many other people, but could she really do that? Could she destroy the picture of his father, of a man that was nice and friendly in his world but was a monster in her world?

“Thomas, you need to understand that this world we’re in is so very different to yours. This man ...” She pointed at the screen. “… may be your father in your world but here he is someone totally different, okay?”  
“He is one of them, right?” She hesitated but nodded then. It was too late to lie to him about anything.  
“Yes.” Juliana whispered and wanted to take the pain from the young man as he faced the truth but couldn’t. “I’m sorry, Thomas.” At that he just nodded while he kept his eyes focused on the screen, always repeating the small video and every so often Smith’s face appeared. The familiar stoic expression on his face that stood in such a contrast to Thomas actual father, Juliana felt a shiver ran through her body. It was disturbing to watch.

“Why did you really bring me here?” Thomas asked at last, his voice darker and tightly bound, and looked up to Juliana who returned his gaze guiltily before turning back to the screen.  
“To make him see.” She answered then while nodding into the direction of the television. “You’re my only hope, Thomas, to bring peace to this world.” She admitted. “Will you help me?” 

xHCx

Tagomi’s funeral was held in a dangerous time. Unrest had overtaken the city, the resistance on the rise and the possible war with the Nazis were overshadowing the Pacific States and Inspector Kido could feel how everything around them was slowly falling apart, Tagomi’s death just the beginning.

With a stone like expression Kido had sat through the ceremony but could not listen to any word spoken. His mind had been occupied with all the threats that were looming above them; the resistance; the Nazis; and all this strange stuff about Trudy Walker, Juliana Crain and Tagomi himself no one knew about but him. He felt rather helpless and found himself alone in this delicate situation. 

The army did not listen to him when he was talking about the power of the resistance, they could not admit that their strength was more powerful than assumed and rejected Kido’s demand for assistance, they kept their focus on the oncoming war with the Nazi’s instead. The situation was ridiculous at best. They had a war inside their own walls already, but they were looking for more bloodshed, and Kido hated them for their stubborn minds. He could just stand beside the chaos, try to keep the resistance down and hope for the best, but that was not the way he normally operated. He needed control and it drove him nearly insane to be that powerless. 

“They broke through our barricade in front of our police station, sir.” Kido was informed by an officer. “It’s unsure how long we will be able to hold it, sir.” At that Kido slammed his fist on the table and cursed. This idiotic admiral needed to face the truth already or they would lose everything they tried to protect from the Nazi’s all this time. Determined Kido stood and wasted no more time, he needed to find someone who would listen to him and get him help or he couldn’t guarantee for anything.

xHCx

On his way back to the front in Philadelphia Smith’s triumphant feeling over Himmler was already weakening. It was not the fact that it didn’t felt good to do it, because it did, and Smith knew he had done the right thing to protect his family but the circumstances surrounding him didn’t allow him to feel heroic. They never did because there was never the feeling of safety involved, he had just eliminated one person in a net of dangerous bastards who would replace Himmler and his ideology in an instant. It was a never-ending vicious circle he could not escape.

He thought back to Helen’s words “It isn’t worth it, to fight for this goddamn Reich” and felt the truth behind it. Deep inside he had known it for a long time, he had never agreed with the ideology after all but his family was his most precious treasure and so he had accepted everything even if it meant to become a monster himself. But now he finally understood that he would never win. After Hitler, Himmler had come and after Himmler there would be another and they would go on where the other had left off. He would never be free and therefore; his family would never be free either.

The sudden stop of the car made Smith look up, his disturbing thoughts coming to a halt as he witnessed how his driver was shot in the head. Surprised Smith felt for his gun but was too late as his door was swung open and two men were hurling him out of his seat. He was dragged over the forest floor while a dozen men were watching him with triumph in their eyes. 

“It is good to finally meet you in person.” Showing no fear Smith looked up at the middle-aged man, recognizing him, as he was forced on his knees and smiled slightly. The resistance, of course. So, they had overrun the barricades. They were stronger than he had thought, he hated to admit.  
“It’s a pleasure indeed, Mr. Price.” Smith replied then and watched with satisfaction as the other man’s happy little smile disappeared. Did he really thought that he didn’t know him? He was a friend of Juliana Crain, therefore an important piece in this puzzle. It was his duty to know him. 

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long.” Wyatt tried to play the situation cool and took a step towards Smith. “To see you die will be one of the most precious moments in my life.” Still unimpressed his enemy stared up to him. Smith felt no fear in this moment for he could see that Wyatt was too small to play this kind of game. He may be the leader of the resistance, but it was obvious that he was not in Smith’s league. His nervousness was radiating from him with every breath he took. 

“I feel honoured that it would mean so much to you.” Smith murmured. “What are you waiting for then?” The other men roared around them, urging Wyatt to grant him his wish and to kill him but Wyatt just stared into him. “I’m at your mercy, Mr. Price, you got me and now you have the chance to revenge her.” Those words hit a nerve, Smith could see it in his eyes welling up and suddenly Wyatt’s hand was at his throat.

“You killed her, you bastard.” He seethed but Smith just smiled while he shook his head.  
“No.” He breathed. “I didn’t.” Surprised Wyatt’s grip loosened but he didn’t let him go. “She is still alive.”  
“You are lying.”  
“Am I?” Smith challenged him, enjoying the uncertain look in the eyes of his enemy. This man was not an opponent on his level. It was way to easy to unnerve him.

“He is lying.” Another man called out to Wyatt and came up to them. “He is manipulating you, can’t you see this? End this, now!” At this Wyatt shook his head at the other man.  
“No, we will take him with us.”  
“What?”  
“He may know where Juliana is.”  
“He would never tell us.” That was right, Smith thought amused, even if he knew where she was, he would never breath a word. “He is playing you.” Indeed.   
“I don’t care, I will not give her up, Lem.” And with that the discussion ended. Determined Wyatt walked away from them, ordering his men to tie Smith up and put him into the trunk of his car but before anyone could react the other man hit his gun right into Smith’s face, punching the lights out of him. A little satisfaction at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooops :D


	7. Deep inside he is a good man

Heavily breathing Wyatt kneed in front of the tied-up Smith, rubbing his bruised fist as Smith spitted blood out of his mouth.   
“Tell me where she is.” He repeated and grabbed Smiths bruised face, his right eye swollen shut, his mouth and nose bleeding but still a smile on his lips as he smirked at the younger man.   
“I find it fascinating how every man she met fell for her.” A raspy laugh escaped Smith’s throat. “Just a flutter with her eyelashes and you were caught.” At that Wyatt threw him back to the ground and kicked him in the stomach. Smith coughed but laughed in the next instant. “I can understand it, you know. She is a pretty little thing.” Angrily Wyatt stood above him, letting Smith play him so easily it was embarrassing.   
“Tell me where she is!” He shouted again. “Tell me what you did to her.”  
“Everything she deserved.” Smith answered with a dark glare and was suddenly hurled up by Wyatt.

“Strip him!” He said to two men standing near them, pushing Smith into their arms and went to find a chair. Surprised his opponent watched him while the other men ripped his remaining clothes off him. What was he up to? Curiously Smith watched as Wyatt brought a chair over, cut the seat out and motioned to his friends to put Smith down onto it. His naked form glistening with blood and sweat.

“You don’t know when the time is right to stop, do you?” Wyatt asked him with a dark expression and knotted the end of the robe to a tight knot. Frowning Smith looked at his handiwork. He wouldn’t … would he? Smith swallowed and looked down at his body, on perfect display for Wyatt’s punishment. 

“I will ask you again and if you want to make your wife ever happy again, then you should answer.” For a long moment they stared at each other until Smith shrugged with his shoulder.  
“Ask away.” He challenged him then. “Maybe I will give you a chance and grant you an adequate answer.” A forced smile appeared on Wyatt’s face as he took the robe in his hand and swung it before him, making sure it would reach its destination.   
“Where is Juliana?” Smith smirked and pretended to think about his question before he shook his head in amusement.   
“Good attempt but no, I won’t tell you, Mr. Price.” At that Wyatt swung the end of the robe forcefully forward so it ended up right in Smith’s balls. A sudden scream escaped the man as he tried to bear the incredible pain. Sweat broke out on his red face while his veins showed rather angrily but he didn’t let his mask fall.

“I warned you.” Wyatt said innocently.  
“Tell me why you are so committed to her.” Smith forced out between two gasping breaths. Now it was Wyatt’s turn to laugh at him, why would he tell him that, but his opponent didn’t back off. “Do you know that she killed the lover who came before you?" Slowly Wyatt turned to him. “Oh yes, she killed him without a second thought.” Smith continued and licked over his bloody lips. “Slit his throat and left him bleeding to death.”  
“You are lying!” Wyatt roared and swung the robe again, making Smith double over in pain.   
“Ah fuck!” He screamed as he struggled to get free.   
“She would never do such a thing. She is a good person, not a monster like you.”  
“Oh, is she?” Smith mocked him without fear, breathing through the pain. “Then you don’t know her at all.”

“I do know her, I …” The banging of the metal door against the wall interrupted Wyatt and he turned around slowly, ready to shout at anyone who was disturbing him, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he shut it again, staring at the woman in front of him. “Juliana.” He breathed barely audible. How could this be?

xHCx

Disturbed Juliana watched the sight in front of her as the door closed behind her again and she was left alone with a dumbstruck Wyatt and a bleeding Smith who looked at her in a similar surprised way as her friend. Both couldn’t believe that she was back. Alive and just so … real.

“What is happening here?” Juliana asked inhibited and pointed to Smith who’s heavy breathing was still etched with pain.   
“We caught him.” Wyatt explained rather proudly and brushed away the sweat on his forehead.   
“And whatever for?” Her voice sounded more annoyed than happy and Wyatt frowned at her reaction. “You do realise that the Nazi’s will be looking for him, don’t you?”   
“Wha …?” Confused he watched her as she walked up to Smith, dismissing him at all, as she looked down to that man. 

“Miss Crain.” Smith murmured with a lopsided grin. “Nice to see you again. How was your trip?”  
“Very interesting.” She answered, took off her jacket and threw it over his crotch, granting him some dignity. “I learned a lot and I see you were busy as well. How is it to be on the other side of punishment?” A challenging and teasing tone laid in her voice. Some part of her liked seeing him this way; injured and bleeding. To know he had suffered the same way as she had, as he had tortured her, satisfied her in a way but in the end, she couldn’t be pleased with Wyatt’s punishment. She was not that kind of person; she was not like Smith and she would never be that way.

Turning around to Wyatt she motioned to him to follow her out of the room while Smith sat back and exhaled in relieve and for the first time in his life, he and especially his genitals were happy for Juliana Crain.

xHCx

“You need to stop this, Wyatt.” Juliana immediately said as soon as they were out of earshot. “You can’t keep torturing him.” Surprised her friend looked at her. How could she say something like that? Did she already forget what this man had done to her? What he had done to thousands of other people? He was a Nazi, the worst kind of it. He deserved to be punished like that. He deserved far worse treatment.

“Why ever not?” He wanted to know and crossed his arms in front of him. “He is a bad man, Juliana, the worst of them all. He deserves this and so much more!” Wyatt seethed but stopped himself before he said something he would regret later. Calming down he looked at her as he tried to understand why she was here suddenly. How it was possible.

“I’m sorry. I should not have shouted at you.” Wyatt sighed. “But you need to understand that this situation here is overwhelming me. I thought I lost you, Juliana. I thought … I thought he had killed you.” Juliana shook her head no. “And suddenly you are back and act like nothing ever happened.” He took a step forward and put his hand on her arms in a tender way. “Where have you been?”  
“It doesn’t matter.” Juliana answered. “The only thing that matters is that I’m back.” Disagreeing Wyatt shook his head. No, it certainly mattered. He had fought this war without her, but for her and at this moment he asked himself if she fought the same war as he did.

“Tell me where you were.” Juliana sighed at this. They had no time for long explanations, their time was running out and she needed to get on with her plan and for this she needed Smith.

“I was in the other world.” She finally answered and watched as Wyatt’s eyes widened in surprise. “I escaped there after Smith caught me. It was the only way to get out of there.”  
“Tell me about it.”  
“Wyatt, we have no time.” Juliana insisted and pointed at the door behind him.  
“We do.”  
“No! Do you really believe they won’t look for him?”  
“We fought them down once, we will do it again.” Wyatt said convinced but Juliana just shook her head at his words.  
“The Nazi’s are far stronger than you think, Wyatt. Maybe you got Smith at a weak point, but I promise you, it won’t get easier and you will need my help, his help, to get to the finish line.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“We need Smith, Wyatt, to end this.” Laughing at her Wyatt shook his head. She couldn’t be serious.  
“No way.”  
“There is no other way. We need him on our side, or this war will end in the worst way.”

“You are talking like he would just do what we want. He is a fucking Nazi, Juliana, you can’t trust him!”  
“He will listen to me and he will do whatever I tell him to do.”  
“Are you mad?” Wyatt still couldn’t believe what he just heard. “He will never subordinate.”  
“Yes, he will because I have a lever he can’t resist.”   
“What lever?” Wyatt asked breathlessly and watched as a sad expression took over Juliana’s face. 

“His son.” She finally answered.   
“I thought he was dead.”  
“He is … in this world.” Again, Wyatt’s eyes widened as he understood her meaning. “I found him in the other world.” Juliana explained rather guilty. “And I brought him with me because I knew how hard it had been for Smith to accept his son’s death. It destroyed his family in the end. And I know, he would do anything to get his son back; his family.”  
“But it is not his son. Not really.”  
“It won’t matter to him. He will just see Thomas and the possibility to get back to his former life. He won’t be able to resist.” She continued and hoped that Wyatt would understand her plan; that he would see, that there was no other way. “I know it is hard to believe but this man in there loves his family and would do anything for them. Wyatt, you need to believe me, this is the only way to win this fight.”

“This is crazy.” He muttered. “You want to build our triumph on the one person we wanted to eliminate from the beginning. You want me to put all of our hope on this man, a Nazi that is.” A disbelieving snicker escaped him. “This is insane.”  
“But we have no other choice.”  
“Yes, we do!” Wyatt argued frustrated. “We are winning this war, okay? We are strong and we will overpower them with the right tactic.” Disappointed Juliana shook her head at him. He couldn’t see how wrong he was. The Nazi’s were in the majority. Yes, maybe they had won the first round but what about the second or the third? Did he really think that they had no resources left? The Nazi’s would come back and if they did not react at the right time, it would be over. Everything they had been fighting for would be lost and it would happen in an instant.

“You are wrong.” Juliana said at last and turned to the door, finished with this conversation that would lead them in circles around each other. “And I hope you will understand this soon enough.” With that she left Wyatt alone and returned to Smith.

xHCx

“Miss Crain, already back?” His voice was strained and tired. “And without your friend I see, I thought we wanted to play a little bit more.” He wanted to smile at her and prove to her that Wyatt had not broken him yet but somehow, he lacked the power to do so. Juliana did not react to his incitement but walked calmly over to his clothing and brought them to him.   
“Here.” She put them into his lap. “I will untie you now, so you can put them on, okay?” Surprised Smith looked up at her and wanted to ask her, if she wasn’t afraid, he would attack her, but he was tired of this pretending, especially because he knew that Juliana was a far better player than this Wyatt Price. She could see through his nonsense if she tried, she had achieved to get under his skin after all. Therefore, he let his mouth shut and just nodded at her. Shortly after he felt the loosening around his wrists and ankles and sighed quietly as the blood rushed back into his limbs.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked then as he put his clothes back on, hissing every now and then when his tender injuries ached. Juliana’s face a blank mask as he watched him. “Why are you being nice to me, when you could do the same thing as this idiot out there. You could have your revenge.” She just shrugged at him.  
“I’m not like you. I don’t enrich myself with the suffering of others, even if it is you.” Smith nodded with a small but pained grin. 

“And what now? Will you let me go?”  
“No.” Juliana shook his head and pointed at a table with two chairs. “Not yet that is. First we will have a chat.” Interested Smith lifted an eyebrow before following her over to the area, seating himself with a painful sigh. Every move he took hurt him all over, Wyatt had hit the right spots, he hated to admit.

“And what do you want to talk about, Miss Crain?”  
“About our future.” Again, Smith raised his eyebrow at her, encouraging her to continue. “This war needs to end; you know this as well as I do.” He nearly shrugged.  
“We didn’t start this war.”  
“No.” Juliana admitted with a small smile. “But you can end it, by giving us what we want.” At that Smith laughed and asked himself why she even thought that he would do that. Of course, he had his own problems with the Reich and had doubts about everything they stood for, but Juliana did not know that. 

“Why would I do that?” He asked after his laugh ebbed out. “Why should I bend myself to you?”  
“To do the right thing.” Juliana’s simple answer let him frown and at the same time laugh.   
“To do the right thing.” He repeated, a disbelieving look in his eyes. “I would risk my life to grant you this victory, Miss Crain, I would betray everything I stand for and would lose everything in this process just to do the right thing?” He wanted to make clear to her how absurd her idea sounded. “What is the right thing anyway?”

“You would betray everything you stand for.” Juliana scoffed, ignoring his question. “And you would lose everything else.” She paused at that and stared intensely at him. “It’s a little bit late for that, isn’t it? May I remind you, that you already lost everything. Your son. Your wife. Your family. Everyone who’s important to you is gone.” She knew she hit a nerve with her words, Smith’s jaw already clenching tightly, but that was good. It reminded him of the truth of this situation, and he needed to feel that pain. “You speak of defending an empire which killed your own son. They killed Thomas!”  
“Don’t you think I know that!” Smith shouted back at her, hating himself for reacting so emotional. No one did ever get under his skin like that. No one, but the use of his son’s death was his downfall. Every damn time.

“Why would you fight for them then?!” Juliana could not understand his reasoning and shook her head in disbelief.  
“Are you really that naïve?” Smith accused her then. “Do you really think it is that easy to just leave them behind, turn my back on them and live my life happy ever after in some shitty town in the middle of nowhere?” He didn’t know why he told her these things but something inside him had broken and he was tired of pretending. “I didn’t choose this life, Miss Crain, I had no choice! I needed to protect my family and for that I had to make sacrifices.” Surprised about his openness Juliana stared at him for a moment. To see this side of him reminded her of the John Smith in the other world and it reminded her that circumstances made him to the man he was now. And as disbelieving as it was, she felt pity for him.  
“And yet you lost them anyway.” Sad about the unpleasant truth Smith nodded and looked away from her, trying to keep it together. He should not allow her to get to him like this. But Juliana didn’t give him any chance to collect himself, dropping the next bomb that made his heart crumble even more.

“I met him while I was in the other world.” Juliana said quietly. “He looks just the same. A beautiful young boy who doesn’t have to fear for his life just because he is ill.” She stared intensely at him, a small smile appearing on her face. “I was so relieved to see him happy, to know that there was a world in which he could be free.” Smith closed his eyes as tears sprung into his eyes and shook his head.   
“You are lying.” He murmured while pictures of his beloved son came into his mind, torturing him even more.  
“I met you, too, you know, and your family. All five of you. Happy and content.” The films he had watched came to his mind.  
“This is crazy. Why are you telling me this?”  
“Because you have to understand that there is another way. You could be happy with your family.”  
“My son is dead. He can’t come back, Miss Crain.” Smith reminded her with a cold stare, but Juliana still smiled at him and shrugged.  
“Maybe he can.” At that his eyes widened. Did she mean …? “Your son is here with me.” Juliana explained and Smith nearly collapsed in his seat, his heart pounding so loudly in his ears, it was hard to hear her next words. “You can see him, if you want.”

Without waiting for an answer, for his expression was everything Juliana needed to know, she stood and walked over to the door and opened it. She called for someone and waited at the door, Smith watching her curiously. And as a soft smile appeared on Juliana’s face, he knew, that his son would stand just on the other side of this door. Smith trembled; he had missed Thomas so much it had nearly killed him. He couldn’t wait to his beloved face again. But Juliana took her time, speaking to Thomas a long time, probably preparing him to meet a man, who was his father but wasn’t. 

“Are you alright?” He heard her ask and stood as Juliana finally opened the door wider to let his son into the room. A shuddering breath escaped Smith as he laid eyes on Thomas, his legs nearly collapsing under him.

“Thomas.” He finally said and took a step forward but halted instantly as he saw that his son acted very guardedly. He was afraid of him, Smith observed with a sinking feeling.  
“It’s okay.” Juliana said at his side and leaded him into Smith’s direction. “He won’t do anything.” No, Smith wanted to shout. He would never hurt his boy. Never! He was his son for god’s sake; but he could see in his son’s eyes that he doubted Juliana’s words, the fear still prominent in his gaze.

“I can’t do this.” Thomas suddenly whispered in Juliana’s direction and stopped walking. “I … I can’t see him like this, Juliana, he may be my father here but … he is a Nazi!” His words hurt Smith deeply, but he couldn’t blame his son for his reaction for he understood that he was a totally other man in this other world and to see him like that was indeed disturbing.   
“I know, this is not easy.” Juliana answered in an understanding tone and put a hand on his arm to calm him, looking into Smith’s direction. “But maybe …”  
“No, I’m sorry.” The next second Thomas turned around and ran out of the room, leaving Juliana und Smith alone again. And as they stared at each other Juliana felt panic rise inside her. Did her plan fail? Was her hope to get Smith on her side to bring peace to this world invalid? Would he build a wall around him again and pretend that everything he did was unavoidable? Was it …

“What do you want from me, Miss Crain?” His words cut through the heavy silence, stopping Juliana’s thoughts. “Tell me what you want me to do and I will do it.” She saw the incredible pain in his eyes as he asked her this question and Juliana could only breath out in relieve. Her plan had worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the funny thing is that John Smith is my favourite character in this whole series, how could I resist such an outstanding performance from Rufus Sewell after all ;P but for some reason I really enjoyed writing this chapter :D haha ... and I was not very friendly to him at all lol xD why is that :D
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter ... now it's getting really interesting. Juliana and John on one side ... will they work out a plan together or will it end in another desaster???


	8. A new soldier for the resistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The question that followed me throughout the whole series. Is John Smith a good man ... 
> 
> What do you think?

Defeated Smith fell back onto his seat, staring blankly ahead. His meeting with his son had shaken him deeply, reminding him once again that it was time that the National Socialism and its ideology had to end. Thomas scared reaction had reminded him of his own fear as he had realised that the Nazi’s would win the war and there would be no other choice than to join them or lose his life and family. 

He remembered how disgusted he was about himself, how often he had asked himself if this was the only way but with time it had become normal like everything else. There had not been a weird feeling about wearing a swastika, no question about the ideology and their strict rules, which never had existed in his beloved America. It just had become normal in his life but today every ignorance had fallen. 

His mask had fallen and for the first time in fifteen years he could see his old self that had been so deeply hidden, it surprised him that it still existed at all.

“I’m glad that you agree to hear me out.” Juliana said as she seated herself on the opposite side of the table. “Somehow I knew that … you are still human.” Smith scoffed.  
“You always believe in the good in people, don’t you?”  
“Even if it is impossible to see.” She admitted and met his eyes. “I saw how you care for your family, so I had hope.” He scoffed again.  
“You do realise that you are using my weakness to get me to do what you want of me.” Challenging he raised an eyebrow at her, reminding her that she was not without flaws.  
“Is it just that?” Juliana replied innocently whereupon Smith smiled at her slightly. Touché. 

“Tell me what you want.” He said then and leaned forward. “How do you suppose I can help you.”  
“Like I said, this war needs to end … but we have to win.” Silently Smith stared at her. “We have to stop this fascism and remind the people that we can live in a free world. In a world where no one will be eliminated just because he is different or ill.” Pain shot through Smith’s body. “Nothing of this disgusting ideology anymore but freedom in every sense of the word.” Juliana leaned forward as well. “You lived in such a world once, John, help me to get it back.” 

For a long moment Smith just stared at her while images of the past came to his mind. Images of Helen and their first rendezvous, the carefree time they shared together, the love they so easily experienced without any second thoughts. All his memories seemed so much brighter, lighter and he missed it. He missed all of it.

“You have a plan?” He asked in the next instant.  
“Yes.” Juliana breathed relieved about his decision. “But it won’t be easy.”  
“Did you expect anything else?” Smith snickered but urged her on. “Tell me, Miss Crain, I will help you.”

xHCx

“You want me to kill Himmler?” Smith repeated Juliana’s first demand and smiled to himself, already done.  
“Yes. We need the chaos his death will provoke.” She explained herself. “Germany will be in turmoil for a while, searching for a replacement. They won’t have eyes for us, and you will take this chance to mislead the Nazis.”  
“You want me to send my men into their death?”  
“I didn’t say that. They just have to lose, so we can push forward.” Juliana defended herself.

“This is not going to work.” Smith replied after a moment and shook his head. “They are controlling everything, you see. Every step I take is on their agenda, even Himmler’s death won’t change that, because they already have a replacement.” Surprised her eyebrows shot to her hairline. “I was in Berlin and met with Goebbels. He is already sitting in Himmler’s place.”  
“Then we have to eliminate him as well. There must be a way.” She answered stubbornly and Smith laughed aloud. She was not allowed to act in such a naïve way. She needed to face reality if she wanted to win this fight. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, I just can’t walk around and eliminate everyone on my way.” It was nonsense. He would be discovered, and her plan would blow up in seconds if he would … Smith stopped in his thought and frowned. But what if …  
“What?!” Juliana demanded to know as she saw this concentrated look in his eyes. “What are you thinking of?”  
“Of a solution for your problem.” He murmured and nodded to himself. “This might work.” He said then. “I think Goebbels is the only one who could be a replacement for Himmler. As I was in Berlin, I noticed that he was the only man left of Hitler’s closest liegeman. Everyone else was eliminated because they were on Hausmann’s side.” Surprised Juliana listened to his explanation. “What if I make it look like he wants him dead. He was never on Himmler’s side, hated his way of handling the American Reich even. No one would be surprised if the order would come from Goebbels.”  
“Then this is the way to go.”  
“It’s not a promise that we will get the time you need.” Smith reminded her.  
“But a start. How much time do you think you need to work out a fool proof plan?”  
“Oh, I think, we won’t have any time at all.” An uneasy smile appeared on his face, as Juliana frowned at him.  
“Why?”  
“Himmler is … kinda dead already.” Smith admitted and shrugged with his shoulders. “It’s a long story.”  
“Do I wanna know?”  
“Do you?” Smith replied with a dark expression whereupon Juliana just sighed. No, she didn’t want to know. Not really. Nevertheless, the first step had been taken and that was the important point, but it also meant that everything they were talking about would have to take place in a short time from now on. 

xHCx

After her long talk with Smith about the necessary steps that had to follow, Juliana met with Wyatt, leaving Smith alone to prepare for his charade. The stakes were high and even John Smith felt insecure in his efficiency to make such an illusion, he had to play, believable, but like Juliana, he knew that there was no other way. 

“Are you sure that this will work?” Wyatt asked as they stared at each other. “Are you really certain that we can trust him?” He still had doubts and Juliana couldn’t blame him for that. She had her own fears because of Smith after all. His ability to fake his attitude was dangerous and to trust him risky but did they have another choice? Nevertheless, Juliana nodded at Wyatt. This was the best plan and she needed him as backup. 

“So … what is the plan? Will we let him go?”  
“Yes, we will.” She answered and watched as Wyatt clenched his jaw. He was not happy with her decision that was obvious, but Juliana knew he would not interfere, he trusted her and for that she was entirely grateful.

“He will help us to mislead the Nazis.” She explained. “He will give us the chance to push forward, Wyatt, he is the only one who can guarantee us a victory.” He nodded at that. “I will explain everything to you in detail but not now, I have another obligation I have to pay attention to.”  
“The kid?” Juliana nodded. “He seemed traumatized.”  
“I didn’t want to hurt him.” She murmured guilty. “But I did it anyway to win Smith over. It worked and that’s good but … Thomas doesn’t deserve any of this. I will bring him back, Wyatt, I have to know he is safe.”  
“It was wrong to bring him here in the first place, Juliana.” Wyatt replied disappointed of her. “He is just a kid.”  
“I know but there was no other way.”  
“You say this a lot lately … I hope you are right about this.” Wyatt turned around then, leaving Juliana alone with her thoughts. Asking herself if she had hurt Thomas in a way that he could not cope with.

xHCx

As soon as Thomas saw Juliana coming into the self-made dining room, he shot up from his seat to apologize to her. He felt embarrassed about his behaviour towards his own father for he had not done anything but just looked at him and he had run away like a coward. Moreover, he had risked Juliana’s plan, he had agreed to before coming here. He felt ashamed for disappointing her and wanted to make it up to her.

“I’m so sorry.” Thomas began as Juliana was near him, but she just shook her head at him.  
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” She replied and lead him to a table in the corner. “I am the one who has to apologize. I shouldn’t have brought you here, Thomas. I was selfish and didn’t think about your feelings in this matter and I’m sorry for that. Therefore, I will bring you back. Immediately.” Surprised Thomas looked at her.  
“But …”  
“No buts.” Juliana interfered. “I don’t want you in danger, okay? And I don’t know what will happen in this world from now on, I can’t guarantee your safety, Thomas.” Her words were honest and very clear. He needed to understand how dangerous it was to stay in this world. “I will bring you back to your family, to your father.”  
“But what about my father here?” He wanted to know. “I know I told you that he scared me but …”  
“He will be fine, Thomas, I promise you.”  
“Will he help you?” Full of hope he stared up at her. “I just want to know if something in him is still good, if he is still like my father.” A soft smile appeared on Juliana’s lips as she hugged Thomas to her.  
“Yes, he is.” She whispered then and the young boy smiled in relieve, hugging her to him before she stepped back and took his hand. “Ready?” Hesitantly Thomas looked around him. The grey walls staring back at him. 

“No.” Surprised Juliana raised an eyebrow. “I want to talk to him.”  
“Are you sure?” She didn’t want him to experience the same as before. She had seen the fear in his eyes, the unbelievable sadness as he saw his father as a Nazi. It had broken something in Thomas, and she couldn’t be sure if a second meeting would help him, but he looked resolved, therefore, Juliana nodded and walked with him back to Smith’s room. 

“Should I leave you alone?” With a nervous glance to the door Thomas shook his head.  
“No, I think I will do it on my own.”  
“I will wait right here.” Juliana promised then and opened the door for the boy who nodded his thanks to her before disappearing inside the room.

xHCx

Smith stood with his back to the door, facing a small mirror as he tied his tie. Without turning around, he asked: “Is Mr. Price on our side or do I have to face his fist again?” Silence answered and Smith’s smirk turned into a frown before he finally saw who stood behind him in the mirror. His fingers froze and for a few seconds he just stared at the reflection of his son. He looked just like his Thomas, the same haircut, the same clothing. It felt like he was transported back in time as his son stood behind him, watching him dress for an important event and smiling proudly because of his success. He lowered his eyes and his fingers fall away from the medal around his throat, nearly choking him. 

Slowly Smith turned around and smiled lightly at Thomas who just stared at him. He was calmer now, more collected, nevertheless, his eyes turned rather cold as he saw the swastika on Smith’s medal. 

“Do you feel proud wearing it?” His first words were barely audible, but Smith heard him loud and clear.  
“It feels normal.” He confessed to his son. “Necessary to keep strong in this world but proud?” Smith shrugged with his shoulders. “No.” Content with his answer Thomas nodded at him while burying his hands deep in his pockets and shuffling his foot in front of him. Smith knew this behaviour. He wanted to ask something more but did not dare to do so. He felt like smiling and crying at the same time.

“You can ask me anything.” Smith said quietly and took a step towards him, mimicking his son’s shy behaviour. “I will answer your questions if it helps you to … to understand who I am in this world.”  
“I just … I just can’t understand how you could do it.” Understanding his father nodded.  
“I did it to protect your mother … and you.” Interested Thomas looked up at him. “She was pregnant with you as it became clear that America would lose the war. The Nazi’s were just too strong, and I had to decide for I knew they would kill me and maybe my family as well. And I couldn’t accept that. I couldn’t accept that my boy would never see the world.” Tears sprang to his eyes as he remembered Thomas death. He had really thought it was the only chance to protect his family and give them the life they deserved.

“It was obviously the wrong choice.” Thomas whispered then and Smith choked on his words.  
“I know … and I will regret this for the rest of my life.”  
“But what exactly do you regret … my death? Is this the only thing you regret?” Caught his father stared at him. Of course, he regretted a lot of his decisions. He had killed hundreds of innocent people and it never had let him go but someday it had just become … normal. Ashamed he dropped his gaze as he remembered his friend Rudolph. He had reminded him of these days and asked him how he could live with it. Wegener had understood his mistakes and had tried to do the right thing and what had he done? He had betrayed him because he thought it was his duty. In the end he regretted it and wanted to change his decision to save Rudolph’s life, but he knew it was far too late for that.

“I became a monster.” Smith finally confessed, shocking his son and himself with his words. “And there is no excuse for my behaviour but me trying to protect my family. I just … I just couldn’t see another way than following their orders.”  
“Do you regret it?” Thomas asked again, wishing for any sign that his father somehow existed in this version of John Smith. He just wanted to know if he was still the same. Somehow it would calm him to know that his father had still the same good attributes no matter which universe.  
“Yes.” His answer was firm. “And although it won’t let my mistakes disappear, I will do anything to save this world from anymore of this.” He pointed at the swastika. “I will do it for my son … for you and I hope someday you can see me as a better man.” A watery smile appeared on Thomas face and he nodded. Behind him the door opened, and Juliana came inside, followed by Wyatt.

“It’s time.” She reminded Smith then and nodded to his remaining clothes. “Wyatt will bring you into the woods, it’s not far from there to your base.”  
“Okay.” He answered but held eye contact with Thomas.  
“Tomorrow someone will visit you, his name is David.” Wyatt continued. “He is your contact guy for anything, understood?” Now, Smith looked quite annoyed at the man but hold his flippy comment back. He played on their side now and didn’t need anymore conflicts.  
“Yes.” With a grim face Wyatt nodded at him.  
“Then let’s go.”  
“Wait.” Smith interrupted and walked up to Juliana. An intense look in his eyes. “I know you don’t owe my anything but … promise me just one thing. Keep my family out of this.”  
“You know I would never …”  
“Please. Promise me you keep them safe because from now on anything can happen.” He pleaded with her. “And I can’t protect them any longer.” A sad expression showed on his face.  
“I promise.” Juliana answered then and drew Thomas close. With a soft smile Smith looked at his son and laid his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. 

“Be ready.” He said turning back to Juliana. “Your plan will expand quicker than you might think.”  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go for it John! 
> 
> Tell me what you think so far. Would love to hear from you!


	9. Simple but successful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, it has been a stressful week ... but here I am with a new chapter ... new plans and a new character on board. It's not easy to play against the Nazis, so we need every help we can get ;)
> 
> Have fun!

It rained heavily as Smith walked through the forest into the direction of the camp. His movement still affected by Wyatt’s hits into his most sensible parts. The new mark Wyatt had presented to him as he had let him go, was one he could have done without, too. He wrinkled his nose in remembrance and flinched. Yep, this one had been unnecessary at best but in the end, it had been a good excuse to give Wyatt a shiny black eye in return and second it made the situation more convincing. 

With a still bleeding nose Smith hauled himself the last few steps into the camp and was instantly greeted by a dozen soldiers who cried out in relieve that the Reichsmarschall was alive and had returned. Their restlessness very present.   
“Where is the admiral?” Smith demanded to know as he limped into the direction of his tent. “Tell him to meet me immediately. I want to know what is going on.” His strong and determined voice seemed to calm some of the soldiers who were gathering around him, but it was obvious that something was bothering them greatly, making them extremely nervous and Smith was curious about the reason.

“Welcome back, Reichsmarschall, sir.” Smith was greeted by the admiral as soon as soon as he grabbed a towel and sat down on his cot, trying to dry himself. “We are happy to see you alive, the last few days were … we lost a lot of our men in defending our position.”  
“Yeah.” Smith murmured. “Tell me what happened. Tell me how the resistance could get that far.” For a moment it stayed silent. The admiral clearly in an unpleasant situation.  
“While you were in New York, sir, the resistance overran us. They used the night as cover. We couldn’t react fast enough. There were just too many of them.” He finally confessed and Smith nodded in grieve acknowledge. “We thought they killed you as well, sir.”  
“No.” He breathed out and pointed at his face. “They held me prisoner … tortured me … but I escaped.” Understanding the man opposite him nodded sincerely.  
“Do you need anything, sir? A doctor should take care of your injuries.”  
“Yeah.” Smith agreed quietly. “But first of all … we have to make sure that this won’t happen again, admiral. The resistance must not win!” The admiral nodded. “Maybe they won the first round, admiral, but there are many more to come and I will make sure they won’t win another one.” With a grim face Smith stroked over his fist, still pounding from his punch into Wyatt’s face.   
“We are glad to have you back, sir.”   
“Yeah.” He looked up to the man. “I’m …” Wary Smith stopped in his sentence as he looked at the man. He seemed concerned about something.

“What is it, admiral?” The admiral hesitated for a split second.  
“I meant to inform you that … our Führer … he is dead, Reichsmarschall.“ The poison had worked then, Smith thought with satisfaction but didn’t show his joy. “Goebbels was already trying to contact you and …”  
“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?” He interrupted the young admiral and jumped up as he glared at him. “Who is in charge now?”  
“I don’t know, sir, and I think this is why Reichsminister Goebbels tries to contact you.” The admiral explained rashly and took a step towards the phone. “I will call his office immediately.”  
“You do that.” Smith grumbled and let himself fall back onto the cot. Trying to find a short moment to collect himself. 

The first step had been easy, to play the injured one who returned to the own rows. As expected, no one questioned him about anything, they were just glad that he was back. The heroic figure of the American Reich. Smith snorted at that. Such gullible people. Nevertheless, the next step would be more difficult. To play Goebbels the right way, to steal his precious position as a possible Führer under his nose, while acting like the most innocent person in the world. It was nothing new to Smith to be the one who pulled the strings but from now on he would play without a safety net. It was all or nothing and it scared the hell out of him.

xHCx

The next day … 

“Did he say anything else, David?” Wyatt asked the young man as he struggled to remember everything Smith had said to him in the short time, they were meeting. It had been hectic and tense because Smith had to meet him in the forest, far from any member of the troop but needed to make sure that no one missed him. Therefore, he talked fast and didn’t explain anything in detail, but David had taken anything he would present and brought it to the resistance.  
“No.” David finally answered, pleased with himself to have survived the meeting with Smith. This man scared the shit out of him, he had to admit. “Not more.”  
“It’s quite enough anyway.” Juliana said and took a deep breath. To know that Himmler was dead, and no one was in charge at the moment was a big relieve to her because it meant that their plan could work. Everything was in order; Germany was in chaos and Goebbels asked Smith for help. He would let the wolf in sheep’s clothing inside and didn’t even know what a terrible mistake he made. It was nearly to easy to be true.

“What will happen next?”  
“We will do as Smith said. We will spy on those locations and we will attack them as soon as we can.” Juliana answered and pointed at the dots on the map. “This is our chance to hurt their weakest points. To destroy their ways for supplies and anything that could help them to get the upper hand.” Excited she looked up at the men surrounding her, but no one showed the same enthusiasm. “What? What is it?” Lem shrugged his shoulder.

“Is this really wise, to trust this man?”   
“He is a Nazi.” The man next to Lem added his doubts. “The fucking Reichsmarschall.”   
“Yeah, he is, and he is our only chance!” Juliana answered annoyed. “He is bad man, believe me, I know, but at the same time he is …” She repined to say ‘a good man’ although she hoped it was true. Deep down, hidden behind the man he had to become.  
“He is a family man.” Wyatt stepped in and moved onto Juliana’s side, making clear that he would follow her and her plan. “And he would do anything to protect them.” There was still doubt in their eyes, so Wyatt added. “We already send out for his family. We will find his wife and girls. And when we have them in our custody he will do exactly as we tell him.” Alarmed Juliana looked up at him. She didn’t agree to that. “Therefore, you don’t have to fear that he will mislead us. It would only mean that he would lose everything in his miserable life that survived until now.” Content the men nodded at Wyatt, liking his determined and aggressive tone.  
“Okay, let’s do it.”  
“Yeah, let’s destroy these bastards!” A euphoric roar ran through the group as they moved towards the door to collect their weapons and everything needed for this mission. Wyatt and Juliana stayed behind. 

“You send for them?” She asked disbelieving and turned to her friend.   
“They are our blackmail material, of course I send for them.”  
“That’s not what I promised Smith.”  
“Do you think I care for this prick or his family, Juliana?” Disgusted Wyatt looked down at her. “He killed hundreds of men, destroyed families with his own hands. If he tries anything funny on us, his family will end the same way.” Juliana’s eyes widened.   
“No.” She protested loudly. “They did nothing wrong, Wyatt.”  
“Did these other people do anything wrong? Did they?” He bellowed back. “Sometimes I ask myself if you even remember what a guy he is. You act like he’s some kind of heroic figure now. Like he is a good man.” Helplessly he shook his head at her. “What happened to you that you think this way? Where is the woman I used to know, who would make him pay for everything he did?” Disbelieving he looked at her as Juliana shrugged with her shoulders. 

“I need to believe in the goodness of people, Wyatt.” She tried to explain and remembered the John Smith from the other world. He was a good man there. Of course, he had his flaws and made mistakes but … she had seen it in his eyes. The kindness. The love. And as she had watched Thomas and he interact in this world, or remembered the day shared with his family, she had seen the same expression. Deep down, he was the same man. She knew it was true and therefore she believed in this John Smith as well. 

“But there is no good in him. He became a fucking monster, Juliana, he wanted to kill you, for fuck’s sake.” Wyatt kept reminding her, but Juliana just shrugged with her shoulders. He would not succeed to change her mind. He could not.  
“Maybe … and a part of me still hates him for everything he did, and I will never be able to forgive him for these things but Wyatt you didn’t see the things I saw. I experienced another world and I met him of all people, a nice guy who rescued me. Who …” Who loved me, Juliana thought with a disbelieving look but did not say it aloud. It would only unsettle Wyatt even more. “Who was sweet to me and helped me although he had no clue of what was happening.”   
“But … this was in another world. He isn’t the same here.”  
“Maybe not exactly the same but … a part of him is still the same, Wyatt, and this part lets me believe in him. I know it sounds crazy to trust the enemy, I know it, believe me.”  
“But you have faith.”  
“Yeah.” She breathed and Wyatt ran his hand through his hair, trying to understand this bizarre situation.

“I don’t trust him.” He said then.  
“I know.” Juliana nodded with a defeated expression. “And I can’t blame you for it.”  
“But I trust you.” She raised her eyebrows, surprised about his soft spoken words and the meaning that stood behind them. “I will follow you, Juliana, wherever you will go because I …” He hesitated for a moment and she could see what he wanted to say. It was in his eyes. But just before he could continue, she pulled him into a hug, too scared to hear him say those words. It was not the right time, nor the right place. Not in all this chaos.

“I promise you he will help us.” Juliana said into his shoulders and squeezed, hoping he would let it slide. Again, he hesitated, his muscles tense but then he hugged her back and nodded close to her head.  
“Okay.” His whisper was a relief to her. “And I promise you I will not hurt his family, no matter what will happen. Nevertheless … I will keep looking for them because if we lose them … we could lose him as well.” Now it was Juliana’s turn to nod as she understood his reasoning.”  
“I know.” She feared for this moment, to lose the only hope she had left, and closed her eyes while she leant against his strong body. “It must not come to that.” It just could not happen for there would be no world in which Wyatt could try to say the words again, but Juliana wished for it. Someday. Somewhere safe. In a free world. At a time when she would not feel the loss or the pain of the people, they had to let go, that strong anymore. Someday there would be a place for happiness and until then, they had to keep fighting.

xHCx

Deep in thoughts Smith sat at his desk and stared down at the letter in his hand. The cigarette between his fingers he never even touched to his lips burning down slowly. 

The words he read were his own but scribbled down in a different handwriting, marking the next step in their dangerous game. It was meant as a distraction, to gain them more time they desperately needed to win this war but as he read over those words he feared for their success. He could not guarantee if anyone would pay attention to the letter, nor if anyone would believe the words written in it. It was a risky move but, in the end, worth a try. 

“Excuse me, sir.” He was suddenly interrupted and looked up to Nicole Dörmer, standing with one foot inside his tent. “I hope I don’t disturb you in your work but … do you have time for me? It won’t take long.” Surprised Smith raised an eyebrow at her while stumping out his cigarette, then he pointed at the chair in front of him.  
“Please, do come in, Miss Dörmer.”  
“Thank you, sir.” With a few quick steps she sat down in front of him and watched him for a moment, not saying anything. Again, Smith raised an eyebrow at her, now more in confusion.

“Do you want to talk to me about something or do you just want to stare at me?” He asked with a teasing smirk and leaned forward. “I would not mind neither of them but … I have still work to do, so …”  
“Now that our Führer is dead, we need to take the chance and film more for our campaign, to bring it forward.” Nicole interrupted him with a calm voice, still watching him closely. Smith nodded slowly at her and already opened his mouth to shut her up, he didn’t need this propaganda bullshit on top of it all, but her next words stopped him abruptly. “There will be no better time to make the people see, John. We need to use this chaos.” A deep frown appeared on his face as he stared at her. Did she mean … 

“Miss Dörmer, what you are saying is …”  
“Treason?” She dared and looked straight into his eyes, confirming him in his assumption. “Meeting with the resistance und giving them information, is treason as well, isn’t it?” His eyes narrowed and his lips thinned out. This was not good. Not good at all.   
“This is a serious accusation, Miss Dörmer.”  
“I know.” Nicole answered unimpressed of his darker voice. “But we both know it is true, so could we skip the part where you are trying to manipulate me and turning this against me and come directly to the important part.” With a stony expression Smith looked at her but said nothing while he tried to make sense of this conversation. What did Nicole Dörmer want from him? She could have run to her uncle and flush him out in an instant but no, she did not do that, she choose this way, the question was: why?

“What do you want?” He finally asked coldly and sat back in his seat.  
“Thank you.” Nicole smiled warmly at him. “It’s the possible victory of the resistance I want to talk about. They are strong, aren’t they?”  
“Not strong enough.”  
“So, you make them strong by making the Nazis weak. Simple but successful.” She nodded to herself. “I want to help to make them stronger, to give them a voice.” Stunned Smith just sat there and stared at Nicole. He was indeed surprised about her suggestion; never would he have thought that she would make such a drastic turn. She had worked so hard and passionately for the propaganda video surrounding himself, Thomas and the Jahr Null. He was Goebbels niece for god’s sake. Why would she even want to risk such a life? 

“Why should I trust you, Miss Dörmer? How should I know that you are not trying to play me?” He finally asked and Nicole laughed aloud.  
“Oh, come now, who is that good that he could mess around with you, John?”  
“Apparently, a lot lately.” Smith confessed with a grim smirk, still curious to know the truth about her new ambition.  
“You are off your game.”  
“I’m taking a dangerous path.” He answered evasively.   
“And I will follow you on that path.” She stayed silent for a moment, thinking about something. “You know about my … affection for women but you never did anything against it.” Ah. Suddenly everything clicked into place for Smith. “You simply … tolerated it.”  
“It’s none of my business.”  
“Yeah.” Nicole said, smiling at him. “But you know how the rules of this game are. There is no place for people like me in the Reich, we are to be … eliminated or if we are lucky, we just have to go to re-education camp to let them form our mind anew.” Her smile vanished at that. “It was horrible, and it showed me how perverse this system is. I don’t want to live in such a world anymore. I want to be free to love who I want.” 

For a long moment Smith stayed silent and stared at the young woman in front of her. She radiated confidence, with every word she said or with every step she took without a second thought. But the longer he looked into her eyes he could see the painful experiences she had lived through, the sacrifices she had to make. He could see the powerful truth behind her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Smith finally said and shared a compassionately look with her. “No one deserves to be marginalized just because he is different.” His soft spoken words somehow surprised Nicole for she had always known him as the audacious Reichsmarschall who never showed feelings but right now, she was relieved for she knew he would let her in.

“But still … I need to remind you that this idea of yours is not without consequences.”  
“I know.”  
“Do you?” Smith challenged her and raised his eyebrows. “You will risk everything. Your whole existence for something that could go terribly wrong.” Nicole smirked at that.  
“That hopeless, hm? I wonder why you are doing it then.”  
“To not lose the last thing I care about in this world.” Smith confessed to her and her smirk vanished for a second before she repeated, that she knew what she dealt with. There was not safety net. It was everything or nothing. And that was okay, she was willing to sacrifice everything for the hope the resistance breathed into this world.

“Okay.” Smith finally nodded and leant back in his seat. “Tell me, Miss Dörmer, what’s your plan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! See ya!


	10. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the delay ... The chapter just didn't want to end for me ... but finally ... finally I decided it can go into the world how it is :D  
> I hope you'll enjoy!

“Don’t stop running!” Helen screamed to her daughters as they ran through the woods into the darkness. The gunfire still loud behind them. “And don’t look back!” She followed them quickly, always checking for any danger behind the next tree, but her fear was overwhelming her with every passing second. What was happening back there? Did she really see the Japanese? Why were they here in the Reich? Her thoughts were running wild and she desperately wished for her husband to be here. He would know what to do, he would be calm and collected and would lead them into safety. She was sure about that, but the reality was different. John wasn’t here and Helen didn’t even know if he was still alive. A new flash of panic ran through her body as she thought about the possibility. She could not lose him, not now, and prayed silently for a meet again. 

“Mum!” Jennifer’s and Amy’s high pitched screams shook her out of her thoughts, and she quickened her steps to get to her daughters but as soon as she saw them, her heart staggered to a halt. They were captured by two strong men, holding them tightly to their bodies as the two girls tried to escape their grasps. 

“No.” Helen whispered helplessly and stepped forward without any idea what to do, nevertheless, she would try anything to protect her daughters from any harm. “Let them go.” Her voice was surprisingly strong. “Please let them go. They are just kids, take me instead of them.” Tears were streaming down Amy’s and Jennifer’s cheeks and it broke Helen’s heart to see them that scared. She took another step forward and pleaded again with the two men but not one of them reacted, they just hold their positions and seemed to wait for something. 

“Take them to the car. Now!” Surprised Helen whirled around and looked into the eyes of a middle-aged man with curly brown hair. His face unmoving.  
“No, please …” She begged instantly and tried to block the way of the two men, but the new one hold her back, his grasp strong but gentle.  
“They are safe, nothing will happen to them.” He said then and again Helen turned around to him, her eyes wide and curious. Who was this? “We will take you with us to Philadelphia.” To Philadelphia? John was at Philadelphia, Helen thought then, could they work for him? She desperately hoped for it to be true.

“Who are you?” She finally asked as the man lead her to the waiting car. “Do you work for my husband? Did he send you?” A smirk appeared on the man’s face and he shook his head.  
“No. I don’t work for him. He works for us.” Surprised about the answer Helen frowned but as she watched the man and didn’t see any sign of a soldier for the Nazi’s she finally understood.  
“You are with the resistance.”  
“Yes.”  
“And I can assume that it was no coincidence that you’ve found us here, can’t I?” The man simply smiled amused. “Are we bait?”  
“Bait?” The man repeated and raised his eyebrows at her, not correcting her.  
“You want something from my husband, don’t you?” The look in his eyes was everything Helen needed to know, and tears came to her eyes. This was the reason why she ran away from her husband, out of fear that something like this could happen. Maybe he was a powerful man but that concluded a certain risk and finally it had caught up with them. A cold shiver ran down her back. Was this the end?

xHCx

“We could have not expected this.” Juliana said to Smith as he shook his head wildly in front of her, the frustration clear on his face. “It doesn’t even make sense that the Japanese attack the Reich right now. Why would they, with the resistance fighting against them in their own space? They could lose everything with this.” Juliana frowned uncomprehendingly. For her this step of the Japanese was not a logic one. It put them merely in more danger than before.

“I should have expected this.” Smith seethed and sighed loudly. “After Tagomi’s death the Japanese went for revenge and …”  
“Wait.” Juliana stopped him and moved in front of him. “Tagomi is dead?” Tears sprang to her eyes at the possibility and as Smith nodded with his head, she felt the first tears fall down her face. “Wha-what happened?”  
“I don’t know.” He admitted. “I was informed about an attack … that he was shot but nothing more. You knew him?” Slowly Juliana turned away from him but nodded as an answer. She could not believe that Tagomi was dead, he had not deserved such a death. 

“I’m sorry.” Smith said then. “He was a good man, I believe. I met him just once but … I could tell he was fighting for a good cause back then.” Juliana closed her eyes then as remembered the files Joe had kept and the intention behind them.  
“Do you know who did it? Did the Nazi’s kill him? Did they finally succeed?” Surprised Smith raised an eyebrow at her. “Joe Blake.” Juliana started to explain. “I saw the list of potential attentats. Tagomi was one of them.” She swallowed the lump in her throat as she saw Joe’s face in front of her again and remembered the terrible moment when she had to kill him to save her life and probably Tagomi’s as well.

“I didn’t know anything about such a list at the time being.” Smith tried to explain his position in the attack but knew he would not safe himself, because in the end, Tagomi was still dead. “Not exactly anyway. I was surprised as I found out about it and I asked Himmler about it, but he wouldn’t tell me anything and it was better to leave it as that …”  
“But did they do it?” Juliana repeated herself.  
“Not on my account.” She turned around to him with a searching look, trying to see if he was telling the truth but Smith didn’t hide behind a mask, he stared back at her openly and Juliana believed him. “I informed Inspector Kido about it but he made it clear to me that his superior had already decided that the Nazi’s were involved. It was just a matter of time until the inevitable, I think.”

“They want this war.” She concluded.  
“I suppose, they were looking for a reason to attack, yes.”  
“And they found one.” Juliana mumbled and a deep frown appeared on her face as she thought about something that irked her. “Do you know when he was killed?” Smith shrugged with his shoulders as he tried to remember the exact day.  
“I’m not sure but I think the day before the Nazis found themselves in war with the resistance.” Her blood ran cold with this information. It could not be a coincidence that exactly on that day the resistance had rose in the Pacific States and in the Reich. They could not have been that lucky, could they?

“You think your people attacked him, don’t you?” She nodded numbly at him, too angry about the probable truth. “It would make sense.” Smith continued and rubbed at his stubble, a little bit impressed by the plan. “The Japanese and the Nazis would fight against each other, and nobody would look on the inside. If it is true, it has been a smart idea.”  
“If it is true, they killed one of my friends.” Juliana seethed and shook her head. It wasn’t a coincidence, she was sure about that now, but that also means that Wyatt was responsible for Tagomi’s death. He had let someone innocent get killed just because of his stupid plan and that, she couldn’t forgive easily.

With a tired sigh she sat down in one of the chairs, Smith watching her thoughtful. He knew how hard it was to fight in a war; how many victims you had to accept and how hurtful this experience could be. He knew it all and felt it as well, the longing to give up and surrender to the pain but they had no choice as to keep standing and to fight. They simply had no choice, or everything would be lost in a second.

But as he opened his mouth to remind her of the duty they now shared, the door opened and Wyatt walked in, followed by Helen and her daughters.

“Daddy!” Both girls shouted out at once and ran towards their father, clinging tightly to his body as they finally reached him. Surprised Smith looked down to them and then up to Juliana who merely smiled at him warmly, forgetting her own distress for a moment, before he knelt down and hugged his daughters to him with such a force, he feared he might break them.  
“We missed you.” Amy sighed into his shirt while Smith kissed their faces and stroked their hair. He couldn’t believe he had them in his arms again.  
“I missed you, too.” He whispered with a broken voice.

“Where were you all the time, mommy wouldn’t tell us anything.” Jennifer complained next and her father smiled gently at her, cupping her cheek.  
“I had to work, darling.”  
“But why did she take us away from home then? You always work.” His daughter was not a small child anymore, she had a lot of questions because of their mother’s behaviour but Smith wasn’t willing to tell her the real reason for any of it, not yet anyway. She just needed to know that everything was alright and there was no reason to be angry with her mother or him.  
“Your mother did the right thing, sweetheart, it was too dangerous to stay with me, you know.” A deep frown appeared on her face, but Smith smile grew brighter to sooth her fears. “But now everything is okay, I promise.” He pointed at Juliana then. “You remember Julia?” Jennifer and Amy nodded. “She and all of these people around you are our friends now.”

“But aren’t they with the resistance?” Surprised Smith raised his eyebrows at Jennifer’s pointing question and asked himself how much she really knew. “Aren’t they dangerous?”  
“No, darling, they are not. They are good people.” He could see the doubt in her eyes and feared, that his daughter’s education stopped her from believing his words. All her life she was raised as a Nazi, she was forced to believe that only their ideology was the right one and any other idea would destroy them. She never knew any other way and now, she was confronted with her father turning to the resistance and letting his former life behind. How could she understand that his was not treason but the right thing to do? 

Amy was younger than her sister Jennifer and Smith had hope that she could adjust more easily, she acted more calmly as her sister at least. She didn’t seem to be scared of the people around her, she even smiled brightly at Juliana but Jennifer … Smith sighed quietly, she had the same look Thomas had in his eyes, as he thought that he was a shame for their family and the Reich and he feared for the possibly outcome. 

“You can trust them, sweetheart, as you can trust me.”  
“Mum told us that we have to leave our life behind because … she didn’t want to live in such a world anymore.” Jennifer said next and looked down at her shoes. “But I don’t understand what was wrong about it. I was happy, weren’t you?” Her father shared a sympathetic look with her as he tipped up her chin.  
“We were happy, sweetheart, you made us happy.” He nudged the two of them gently. “And your brother made us happy as well but sometimes the world must change, you know, to sustain such happiness.”  
“I miss him.” Amy interrupted then and her father smiled sadly at her before he pressed a long kiss to her forehead and whispered into her skin, “I miss him, too.” Then more quietly again. “I miss him, too.” 

For a moment they just hold each other then, happy to be in each other’s company again before Smith finally saw Helen at the door, watching them with a teary smile. He smiled at her and slowly let go of his daughters before walking over to her.

“You listened to me.” Helen said with surprise in her voice as her husband stood right in front of her.  
“He is dead.” Smith confirmed and a tear rolled down his wife’s cheek as pure relieve took over her body and she threw herself into his arms. Grateful that nothing had happened to him, that he was still alive and was fighting for the right course to protect their family for any evil the Nazis stood for.  
“I was so afraid.” She whispered into his neck while breathing in his familiar scent to calm her nerves.  
“I know but you are safe here. I promise you that.”  
“I’m so sorry I left you, I …”  
“Sssh.” Smith soothed her and pressed her more tightly to him. “You did nothing wrong; everything is okay. You were right in protecting our children. I would never blame you for this. Never.” Helen nodded slightly and closed her eyes as she felt the tension drop off her shoulders. To finally feel his arms around her again felt so relieving, she never wanted to let go again and pressed a kiss against his warm skin but then she remembered where they were and opened her eyes abruptly, before slowly disentangling herself from him. 

A soft smile laid on his lips as their eyes met.  
“It’s okay.” Smith mumbled and stroked with his thumb over her cheek, whereupon his wife smiled and nodded confidently before stepping out of his embrace completely and welcomed her daughters at her side, Smith turning back to Juliana and Wyatt.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely then as she felt Amy’s small hand in his own, gripping at his fingers.  
“I take my promises seriously.” Juliana replied with a small smile and walked up to him. “Take your time with them. I will inform Wyatt about everything.”  
“Of course.”  
“Join us when you are ready.” Again, Smith nodded and turned back to Helen and his children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy the Smiths are finally back together. I hope for it to happen in the show as well, for Helen and John are just adorable together :)
> 
> I know there wasn't much action in it ... but we will get there. I promise ;)


End file.
